Message of the Day - Change Your Mind Once in a While

Good Morning,

 

In my current read "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung (http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-Something-Decision-Without/dp/0802458386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254303061&sr=1-1). There is a section on people who never change their mind. They, for some reason, be it ego, be it hubris, or simple stubbornness refuse to change their minds when they are confronted with information which contradicts when they know to be true.

 

I remember in my teen years my step-dad and I would get into arguments at the dinner table. Most of the time he was right, and most of the time I thought I was right. What was most interesting to me is when I knew I was right, having just researched or read something, and my step-dad found he was wrong, he would not admit it. We would get into a heated exchange and he would leave the dinner table in a huff and go to their bedroom.

 

How often have we done the same thing? We have our beliefs and understandings and when challenged, and we KNOW that what we believe or know is wrong, we refuse to change our minds. Its as if admitting we are wrong is going to put a black mark on our ego or is a sign of weakness or stupidity. Like we are going to get a demerit or something for admitting that at some time or some place we were wrong about something.

 

Oddly it works the other way. As we see others who refuse to change their minds when faced with incontrovertible proof that their point or idea is wrong, we don't see them as strong or smart. We see the opposite. We see them as bull-headed and ignorant.

 

I tell folks that I would rather be correct than right. This means that I want to have the correct information. If what I believe or know is wrong, then I want to know so I can change my mind and absorb and adapt to the new information.

 

This may make me seem like I waver from time to time as my beliefs and understand change, but as you will find out, we are right more and more of the time as we accept the times when we are wrong and correct ourselves.

 

Being right is not a test where you get a gold star on your forehead for holding your viewpoint no matter what.

 

Being correct is more important, even if you had to change your mind a few times along the way to end up being correct!

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://learnandgrowdaily.com ←-Click here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Message of the Day - A Synergy of Cultures

Good Morning,

This past Thursday I had a unique opportunity when I attended a Whiskey Tasting for Laphroaig Distillery and their Single Malt products. John Campbell, the Distillery Manager and their Master Ambassador, Simon Brooking, were in town for the event. This taste testing, though, took place at another wonderful establishment, a bourbon distillery, Makers Mark. These two companies each have a passion for their products and focus on making one product at the best of their ability.

Members of the Louisville Pipe and Drum band were in attendance as well to lend the sounds of Scotland. One musical combination summed up the event perfectly. The musicians started off with 'My Old Kentucky Home' and transitioned into 'Scotland the Brave'.

During the event, we toured parts of the Makers Mark Distillery and enjoyed bourbon themed foods as well as complimentary drinks of Laphroaig. While I had never tasted Laphroaig, and I was generally not a fan of Islay Scotch (smoky tasting scotch), I became an instant fan with my first sip of the 15 year Laphroaig scotch (I later bought my own bottle and signed up to be a 'Friend of Laphroaig'). This will go well with being a Makers Mark Ambassador.

When we started the tour we learned about how Makers Mark bourbon is made. After the intro one of the guests asked John Campbell of Laphroaig what the process was with making his scotch. His answer was that the process is almost identical. In fact, partly because Laphroaig and Makers Mark are so similar in passion of their products and the pursuit of quality they became business partners. Makers Mark sells Laphroaig their used bourbon casks. It is one of the reasons that Laphroaig is so distinctively wonderful.

Everyone in attendance was allowed to sign recently emptied cask of Makers Mark due to be shipped out to Scotland and used for aging a Laphroaig scotch (we will have to wait 10 to 18 years but I plan on getting a bottle of it!).

The highlight of the event was the actual taste testing. In the line up were three types of Laphroaig as well as Makers Mark. Danny, the Assistant Manager of Makers Mark gave the taste presentation for the bourbon and everyone participated. We even heard thoughts and commentary from John Campbell and Simon Brooking. This was followed by John and Simon bringing us through the taste testing of the 10 Year Aged, 18 Year Aged and 25 year Aged Laphroaig as well as their base spirit (the scotch before it is aged). Then Danny, the expert on Bourbon was asked to share his thoughts and he compared the Scotch to the Bourbon and how they were similar and different from the viewpoint of a master bourbon distiller. It was a once in a lifetime experience hearing and tasting and sharing.

The synergistic combining of two different entities to create one experience is very powerful, and is not limited to scotch and bourbon. It could be many different things from front line staff of a company to ivory tower management. When two or more groups get together and share their thoughts and experiences in a positive and supportive manner, the synergy created opens the door to many opportunities for everyone.

We can all create this synergy by asking questions in areas we are unfamiliar and at the same time share our knowledge and experience in return.

For me this event will be a life long reminder of how two different companies and industries can combine and share with each other.

What a wonderful experience.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net/

http://learnandgrowdaily.com/ ←-Click here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

Message of the Day - From Different Perspectives We See Differently

Good Morning,

I remember living in Gaithersburg, Maryland (a suburb of Washington, DC) and driving west on the Capital beltway (I 495 toward I 270) on my way back from Baltimore. On that winding road I would see the Mormon Temple in the distance. It appeared to be a huge building with beautiful spires all in a pristine white.

When you first see the large building you think nothing of it because you are in Washington DC and there are many large buildings and monuments. Then driving around the next bend and the Temple goes out of view for a moment. Then another bend and there it is again, but only SMALLER (and yes, you are driving towards the Temple). Then as you continue to drive along the highway, you get closer to the building, and it continues to DECREASE in size. This is a favorite optical illusion I would share with friends and visitors as we drove along the beltway.

In reality, the building did not change size, only our perspective of the building changed, and thus how it appeared to us. That is, from different perspectives or vantage points what we are seeing is different.

It stands to reason that two different people looking at the same thing from two different places could easily see that same thing differently. Unless they describe what they are seeing to each other and confirm with each other it is possible they may think that they are seeing two entirely different things.

Another way to look at this is that if you change the way you look at a problem you can see the problem in a completely different way. For example, when a complaint letter comes into your company, you can see it as a problem to be fixed and an employee to coach or you may also see it as a new opportunity to wow a customer by how the complaint is addressed.

This is a great tool to better generate understanding between people as well as a tool to help solve problems.

In the first case, when you know you and others are looking at the same issue but are actually seeing different issues, it is time to ask some questions and see about changing the perspectives being used.

In the second case, when you have a challenge and do not know how to overcome it, you can change the way you look at it. Question convention and you can open the door to new ways of solving issues.

Knowing that all things in life can be seen differently not only by different people, but even seen differently by the same person looking at issue from different perspectives helps us see life's challenges through different lenses.

Maybe we can find more solutions to our problems with this approach. And if not, change our perspective.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg
Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.berenberg.net
http://learnandgrowdaily.com ←-Click here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"
http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/
502-533-9336

.

Message of the Day - Ripples in a pond are made after the pebble hits the water.

Good Morning,

 

This past evening I had the chance to have dinner with a former co-worker and dear friend, Jo. She and I worked together on two different teams several years back. She is a feisty gal and who is very upfront and honest. I have not had a chance to see her much as we both left the same company some time back, but we keep in touch through email and phone calls.

 

In our dinner we talked about the good ole days and the days that are ahead of us. It was fun spending time with someone who you respect and in return respects you, where you can be yourself and not worry about ripple effects.

 

During the conversation, Jo told me about the happenings on the day I left the job where we last worked together. That is, after I made my final rounds saying good bye to everyone and packed my things and left. I started tearing up as I heard how my team reacted after my final good-byes.

 

I was a radical leader back then (still am now J ). I pushed the envelope, innovated and allowed my team to do what they did best. I often had tough discussions with my bosses, who tried to rein me in, but I often pushed back and won, having a lot of information to back up my thoughts and plans (plus having results was always a plus).

 

Of all the things I did with the team, I spent a lot of time showing them that I cared about them; that I loved them and that I believed in and trusted them. I still do love them and support them, even though I do not see them as often as I would like.

 

I did not make it easy for the team, I pushed them and I held them accountable. I cared and loved them when I gave them praises and I cared and loved them when I gave them written warnings.

 

My approach caused a lot of stir in the management, and I know it still does today. Luckily my current boss is much more experienced and wiser and knows my heart and motives. Instead of spending time trying to hold me back, she channels my energies, although I suppose that I cause her to buy stock in Tylenol from time to time.

 

When faced with ‘playing the game’ or ‘towing the line’ in a company, I am going to rail against the line all the time. I am no corporate clone, and I often wonder how I have survived so long in corporate America. Maybe it is because I care about those I work with and for, and work to push them to better themselves and the entire organization. Maybe its because I also still have a lot to learn.

 

It is good to know that caring for others and loving those you work with has had such a powerful effect in the lives of those people. I caused many ripples in my day and if goes as planned, there are plenty more coming.

 

And with each of these ripples is another sign of love and caring and support for those I work with, those I mentor and those I call friend.

 

Be yourself, and don’t be so concerned about causing a few ripples to help those around you. You will all be better off for it.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net 

http://learnandgrowdaily.com ß-Cick here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"
http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

Message of the Day - A Goal Too Far

Good Morning,

 

I wanted to have a book published to help others. It was a goal I had for many years. In fact I started writing self help books as far back as in the early 1990s. You won’t find any of them floating around these days as they never were published, much less completed. Back then, my goal, to publish a book to help others was a goal too far away from me to pursue. It was too big. I could see the goal, but not the path to get there.

 

Have you ever had a goal so large that no matter what you did, you never seemed to get closer to the goal? All the work and effort and prayers that went in achieving our huge goal never seemed to make a huge dent, and sometimes the harder we try, the more frustrated we get.

 

Sound familiar?

 

As stated in earlier messages one of the keys of obtaining large goals is setting smaller goals which are doable in shorter time frames. Instead of publishing a book, with a target date some two years down the road, I could set a goal of having an brainstorm list of ideas for the book within two weeks. That goal could also be broken down to daily goals of jotting down ideas for five to ten minutes every day.

 

Setting baby steps helps us take the bigger steps…but why?

 

It has a lot to do with having a recent ‘win’ or success under our belt to help us keep focused. If we enjoy doing something, we have a win, and generally we are more apt to do that activity again. On the other hand, if we have a hard time or no success in doing something, it takes more effort on our part to do that activity again.

 

Our setting shorter term goals, and with those goals, giving ourselves little wins along the way, we keep the momentum going on achieving our larger goals. Try not to set your small goals too small. A goal a day is about as small as you want to get. Setting a goal for every 10 minutes can get a bit tedious and even dilute the feeling of wins due to their frequency (although in some rare cases, this works).

 

With my book, I set a short term goal of organizing my messages into categories over the course of a week. Next I set the goal of editing each category over a few days each, and continued to set bite-sized chunks with these short durations. Then with each completion, I visualized how the entire book was starting to take shape and that gave me a win.

 

As I prepare for the second edition of my book, I look at the large goal and have stalled. So once again I must start with bite-sized goals to give me small wins to help me get to my goal.

 

Anyone can do this!

 

Just remember to break your goals into bite-sized chunks and find ways to give yourself a ‘win’ after achieving each goal.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net 

http://learnandgrowdaily.com ß-Cick here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"
http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

 

Message of the Day - Knowing your BATNA

Good Morning,

 

My current read is the classic “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In” by Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton (http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/B001TI3OFA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253065312&sr=8-3). In this book, you find ways to create Win-Win situations in negotiations. Much of this material has been used in many other books and fields; it is truly one of the greats.

 

While this book is on Negotiating, it really covers many aspects of our lives. We tend to negotiate every day, often many times with different people. We negotiate with our kids, until the ultimatums come, and we negotiate with our co-workers, in our meetings, and with customers. The tools in this book truly have value in our every day lives.

 

One section of the book talks about a concept called the BATNA. This acronym stands for the ‘Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement’. It takes a bit getting used to this acronym, but it has so much value.

 

The BATNA is the best alternative we have should no negotiation be possible. That is, what is the worst that can happen should they say no?

 

Knowing what would be our BATNA ahead of time in any negotiation or dealings with others can help us in many ways.

 

1. If the BATNA is not that bad, then our need to negotiate becomes less critical, that is, we are less desperate.
2. If the BATNA is better than anything we can get from a deal with others, then we don’t have to negotiate at all.
3. If the BATNA is horrible, then we know what we are working to avoid.
4. If the other person’s BATNA is horrible, then we know we are on better footing in any negotiations.

 

In other words, knowing what would most likely be the outcome of any negotiation should no agreement be made helps us put our options in much better perspective.

 

With a better perspective we can make more intelligent decisions in how we embrace different situations we encounter daily.

 

When you prepare for any meeting and get a feel for your BATNA. Should the discussions or negotiations not go your way, you already have Plan B primed and ready.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net 

http://learnandgrowdaily.com ß-Cick here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"
http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Message of the Day - An Ego Caused Train Wreck

Good Morning,

 

Every now and then as I start waking up in the morning, I spend some time reflecting on my life and how I got to where I am now. This past Sunday morning I thought about a time when I started back in college in 2003 at the University of Phoenix, Rockville, MD campus. I had originally set up the schedule to have college classes on Monday, my day off, as I worked Tuesday through Saturday. I started college about a month after starting work (this was after 5 months of unemployment). The second class in the curriculum was basic computer information and use.

 

Having worked in technical support for many years I felt I would not learn much from it so I looked to change courses. I allowed my ego of my experience to get in the way of just rolling up my sleeves and getting my degree. Since I could not get the course waved from my curriculum I ended up having to take a course on another day where I did work and would have to leave early that day. Prior to taking this class, I confirmed with my manager if it was okay, and she approved.

 

The job I worked at, which lasted a whole 94 days was a very difficult job for me. I was ultimately let go from the job during the fourth week of the class (classes last 5 weeks). The new manager I reported did not seem to approve of me leaving early for class and so it became extremely stressful on class days to leave on time to make it to class. Generally I was 10 – 15 minutes late every day. The class was employment law and the irony of my treatment at this job versus what I was learning in class only added to my frustration.

 

Had I humbled myself and taken the computer class, which I eventually did here in Louisville a year later, I may not have had the difficult and overly stressful times I did. I know I would not have lasted at that job, the concept of ‘Wrong Fit’ could not be better defined than my time at this company.

 

How often do we let our ego’s get in the way of doing what is right?

 

Is it always so important to be right, to have our experience and accomplishments lit up on a billboard and recognized by all who purvey them?  Didn’t Harry S. Truman once say: "It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."

 

Our ego can be a benefit to us, used only in small, controlled doses, but left to its own devices; it will often line us up for a train wreck of circumstances in our lives.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net 

http://learnandgrowdaily.com ß-Cick here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"
http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Message of the Day - Finding Good in All Things

Good Morning,

This past Friday was September 11th. There are probably very few people alive today in America who don’t know the significance of this day and the events back in 2001.

Most of us can remember where we were and what we were doing in those morning hours.


Here it is 8 years later, and every year on this day, there is a lot of sorrow and painful memories.

Some have taken this day to be bitter at the world and others have gone an entirely different route. They have endeavored to raise the human spirit and share love while we remember the horrific events of 9/11.

One such group took to the streets and used the Free Hugs Campaign to bring happiness to others. http://freehugscampaign.org/

What a positive and powerful message to bring the world that we can embrace some of our darkest moments with love and caring for our fellow humans.

Wasn’t it Dr. ViKtor Frankl who said that no matter what happens to us in life, it is OUR decision how we react to it.

This is a lovely reaction to a difficult time. Well done!

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg
Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.berenberg.net/
http://learnandgrowdaily.com/ ß-Cick here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!" http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/
502-533-9336

Message of the Day - Changes.....and more Changes.....

Good Morning,

 

First, a correction from yesterday’s post: The Blessings in a Backpack website is www.blessingsinabackpack.com not .org, that is for one of their branches.

 

I wrote this next message back in early June, and had I known what was coming in end of June and July, I would have posted it a lot earlier, but here it is:

 

This past week and a half, my family and I have been on a Staycation with a short trip to Ohio to visit relatives. Most of this time we have been using to get settled into our new house and prepare our old house to go on the market. In the middle of this we adopted a dog who was a rescue. He is a mix of Labrador Retriever and Pit Bull Terrier. His name is Bocifus, or ‘Bo’ for short. Bo is a large, strong and extremely energetic dog who just wants to be everyone’s friend.

 

Bo has also caused us to change our routines in our every day lives. These changes were not simple make one change and be done with it. These changes have been coming up one at a time as we face each new day and each new situation. Having a dog is not like having a cat (or 5 cats). When my wife Karen works a weekend shift, and the kids are with their Dad for the same weekend, I cannot just up and go away for long periods of time. I have to be around to take care of Bo. My morning routines now include walking the dog for 30 minutes.

 

Each of these changes has forced me to re-evaluate what I do and the importance each task or item has in my life. The rapid fire change then has helped me get clarity in many areas of life.

 

Change can do that.

 

Change can also change the way you look at life. I could complain about losing close to another hour a day in taking care of the dog. I could complain about having to fight for reading time, for personal time, etc., I could try to push my responsibilities on my kids and wife, and try to keep my old schedule, but that wouldn’t help matters.

 

Change comes, and it must be addressed. Like all things, our attitude toward the change often dictates how we fare I the times of change.

 

When change enters your life, and it will, how will you address it? Will you complain, hide from it, ignore it, or embrace it for the gift it can often be?

 

Welcome change and what it brings to us.

 

By the way, due to my ‘Bo’ exercise program, I have lost about 20 pounds and still going strong!

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net 

http://learnandgrowdaily.com ß-Cick here to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"
http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336