The Sanford Berenberg Experience

502-533-9336

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Message of the Day - Life like a Rubberband

Good Morning,

My current read is John C. Maxwell’s “Be All You Can Be” (http://www.amazon.com/All-You-Can-Challenge-Stretched/dp/1564765164), one of his earlier books.

In several places Maxwell talks about people being like rubber bands. That each rubber band has a lot of potential, but this potential is only seen if it is stretched. People are the same way, if we do not stretch ourselves we do not reach our potential and live in a much smaller world. In stretching ourselves we learn more, we do more, and we take risks which force us to step up to the plate and no matter what the outcome, we come out on the other side with more experience, knowledge and abilities.

I remember working in the Dispute Resolutions department of a credit card processing company where I originally felt I was dropped in over my head. I did not know the rules and regulations, which seemed endless, and there was a lot of money at stake for mistakes. Instead of buckling (I did whine a bit for a few days, then got over it) I became determined to take on this challenge. I learned the basics of the rules, and I embraced the team that was there and ultimately turned that department into a highly efficient team. Through the process I was stretched. I was not broken, but it sure felt like it was going to happen some days.

Rubber bands will eventually snap if they are over-stretched. This can happen to people as well. They will not rip apart, rather they will give up, burn out, quit or be let go.

We have to balance the stretching of our team members as well as ourselves with making sure we grow, but at the same time without taking it too far and causing harm. Unfortunately there is no meter to say when someone has been stretched beyond their limit. Good indications of nearing the breaking point is the feeling of burn out or apathy after being stretched for a period of time (feeling this at the beginning of the stretching is something different).

The good news is that limit is always beyond what we feel we can do at the time. If it wasn’t, then we would not be stretching.

In the end, we are better off for the experience and our rubber band is now bigger and if our rubber band breaks, we get another one, a larger one. Our potential grows as we grow as our knowledge and experience grows. This means our goals should grow as we grow. It is a continuing cycle.

When the going gets tough, realize your rubber band is being stretched. Learn from the experience, but also realize that too much stretching can be bad, so keep your eye on what is going on with you and those you are stretching.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos1

502-533-9336

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Message of the Day - Our Own Posse of Raving Fans

Good Morning,

Welcome New Recipients!

I hope everyone has a happy and healthy holiday season and for those who celebrate, Happy Chanukah and Merry Christmas!!

Most movie Heroes have theme music, many musicians have fans, and great leaders often have followers. These followers cheer on the heroes, applaud the musicians and empower the leaders with their support and enthusiasm. In professional sports, the fans are often considered part of the team. American Football teams sometimes call the fans ‘The 12^th Man’.

Wouldn’t be great if we could also have the same fanfare and applause for the work that we do and for all of our accomplishments? Wouldn’t that be great? Having a cheering section, a team of boosters, theme music, and raving fans all help to make the work that we do even better. When we do know that people are there who appreciate what we do, we often put a little extra effort into our actions.

Unfortunately, unless we can find someone to march behind us and play some sort of theme music or have a team of boosters follow to us around we may have to live without fanfare.

Well, if a few of us were to cheer you on during one of your accomplishments, wouldn’t that be like having your own posse of fans?

Then we could cheer on others when they accomplish something of note.

Heck, each of us can be a fan for anyone else. And when others need that support we can be their raving fans.

But don’t just take my word for it; see how it worked for this group of people:

Remember, we can all have a posse of raving fans by being raving fans ourselves, and help each of us take what we do the next level!

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Monday, December 22, 2008

Message of the Day - A pot hole does not have to be a sink hole

Good Morning,

Welcome new recipients!

Last week was not my best week. I had some rough days, and my performance was not what I would consider exceptional. This pothole in my work-life could easily become a sink hole if I let it.

I could blame my dip on my diabetes acting up and that my sugar was out of whack, being it is the holidays. Or, since my back has been bothering me (and yes I have been visiting the Chiropractor, Howard J ) that I have not been getting a good nights rest. I could also say that since I have been fighting off a cold all at the same time that I have every reason to deliver substandard performance. I could say that I am a life long learner and when bad and rough times hit me, it is everyone else who is causing me grief, because I know better.

Well, that is not me.

I accept that I am human, like everyone else and that I had a rough time, and instead of blaming it on easy targets, I am going to shine the light on myself. Next I am going to learn from it. What could have I done differently. What could have I done better?

Just because I have amassed a great deal of knowledge does not mean that I have finished learning. Once I stop, no matter how much I have learned, then I start dying (intellectually). There is no time that we reach the end of wisdom and know it all, and everything works out for us no matter what. What we do get is a better appreciation of how to approach situations and be able to proactively deal with them, instead of reactively.

As I take this bad week and look at from these eyes, I see that I am better prepared, and actually looking forward to this next week.

I do not have to let this pot hole open up to a huge sink hole and let it fester and destroy everything that I have worked for. I am going to turn it into an opportunity to learn and grow from it and see what I can do better.

We all have bad days, and even bad weeks or months. It happens to everyone, but what matters most about these times is what we do when we have these bad times, when nothing seems to go our way.

We can stop and take a moment to look and learn from what has happened. Even if we have not learned what to do, we can take solace in learning what NOT to do. This is often equally as important, if not more so.

If I learn from this event, and pull out the pearls of wisdom that are there, then it could turn out to be an asset to me, a great learning moment, even if only about what NOT to do.

Now on to an exceptional week! It is out there for all us, if we are willing to embrace it and don’t let ourselves turn mountains out of molehills, or pot holes into sink holes.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Message of the Day - Sticking to your guns

Good Morning,

My current read, book number 101 for the year, is about President Andrew Jackson. I have learned some things about his life and presidency, but wanted to know more, so I found a book on him at the public library.

Andrew Jackson did not have it easy by any means throughout his life, and this was not just because life was harder in the first half of the 1800’s in America. Jackson was a very passionate and driven man who fought for his values and stuck to his values through thick and thin, even if it hurt him and even if it made mistakes because of it. His honor and knowing that he was doing what he felt to be right was the most important facet of lift to him. Jackson followed his values, and when someone on his team went against one of those values, doing something Jackson did not approve of, Jackson would remove that person.

During his rise to prominence he had many detractors, folks who worked very hard to undermine, stop and denounce him both during his days as a General for the United States and during his political career. Some of these detractors used tactics to cause harm to the nation to punish Andrew Jackson and his decisions. One major incident was his Veto on a bill to renew the charter of the Second Bank (the first Bank, founded by Alexander Hamilton had been shut down around 1818 or so). John C. Calhoun, Jackson’s Vice President had started attacking the President while in office, and the Senate, under Henry Clay relentlessly went after Jackson.

The Second bank had four years left in its charter when the bill was sent for renewal. The leader of the Bank and his supporters and allies knew that the veto would come, and that it would not be very popular with Americans. The timing of the vote was during Jackson’s bid for re-election to President. When Jackson gave the veto, the Bank reacted by reducing the amount of credit it would give and called back many of its outstanding loans and put a real hurt on the United States economy.

Jackson, as we all know, won re-election and was able to shut down the Second Bank as well as do many other great things for our nation. He had a lot of issues and challenges which in today’s world which we would not approve of.

Overall, driven by hatred of the British, the fear of the Indians (Native Americans) being used by the British to foment rebellion in the US and by supporting States Rights Jackson did what he felt he should do, even when it cost him elections, friendships and his health.

I am inspired by the great legacy of the man and hope to learn more about the great people in our world’s colorful history.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Message of the Day - Too Much of Anything

Good Morning,

I was thinking back to a short story by Isaac Asimov called ‘Nightfall’ where a civilization on a planet had multiple suns and consequently, there was always daylight every day. There was, though a cycle where the suns would be eclipsed for about a week or so every two thousand years. When this happened, the civilization, not having daylight, tore itself apart and reduced the civilization to the Stone Age. Then over next two thousand years, they would build themselves up again, and the cycle would repeat.

Taking that story and look at our society today with our ever-connectedness to the internet, MP3 Players, HD TV, cell phones, text messages, and ever-present overstimulation which has brought us ADHD and other interesting side effects. What would happen to us if we lost all those technological gadgets for a long period of time, like a week or a month?

When the hurricane came through Louisville and we were without power for 9 hours. Karen and I lit some candles and read. One of our daughters, though, was crying by the time the power came back on because the only thing she could do was read. No TV, no game boy (the battery wore out), no computer, etc. Many folks went two weeks without power, and they survived, but they hated it. At least they did not have to start over in the stone ages.

Not that I expect us to lose what we have, but we should not be so dependent upon it that we become useless when we are left out in the cold due to a natural or unnatural disaster.

One thought is to become less reliant on our technological toys, and well that is a nice thought, it will not be an easy sell. What could be is to have a ‘Pioneer Night’ or go camping in the middle of nowhere for a long weekend where there is no technology. Maybe once a year, so you become accustomed to not having all the tools and toys.

We must understand that addiction to technology can be just as damaging as to drugs (remember the commercial, ‘this is your brain, this is your brain on drugs’ with the egg and frying pan?).

I use my cell phones too much to read email all the time and I need to cut back. What else can we do to help us break these addictions?

Enjoy, now step away from the computer…..

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Friday, December 12, 2008

Message of the Day - It Happens Too Often to be a Fluke

Good Morning,

Welcome new Recipients!

Our world is constantly filled with negativity, hate and ignorance it is hard to stay positive. Larry Smith, President of the Crisis Institute, teaches us that all modern media is based on ‘conflict’. That is, for it to be newsworthy there must be conflict in it. This puts into perspective why many of the feel good news is either on page 37B or not even in the dang rag at all.

Jeffrey Gitomer in “The Little Gold Book of Yes! Attitude” says to just ignore the news on TV because of all of the negativity.

Is life really all that bad? Are we really all in for a rough ride, are we all really sunk?

NO, We ARE NOT Sunk!

Here comes the cavalry, and you know who they are, they are You and Me!

Huh? You may be asking, but I am serious, check this out:

I have read from Viktor Frankl that no matter whatever happens to us in life, we can choose our attitude in facing life. I seen similar messages from Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. Steven Covey, Brad Barton says that if we chose to look through our illusions we can see what is real. Kirk Weisler says, in the Dog Poop Initiative, we can choose to be a pooper or a scooper. Our friend Doug Nielsen who spoke at the C3N Holiday Event told us that we can steer the ship of our life through all kinds of water, but only if we choose to stay at the helm.

All of these messages from all of these different people all saying that we have a choice on how to face life.

Maybe we cannot avoid all the negativity and hate out there, but we do not have to let it ruin our lives, much less our day.

All of these positive messages from some many different sources cannot be just a fluke.

Maybe, just maybe, there is something to this thinking and being positive stuff.

Try it. And if you know it works, spread the word brothers and sisters!

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Message of the Day - Know Our Enemy

Good Morning,

There is an enemy of ours lurking out there which is insidious and unrelenting. It makes bad things worse, and can turn even the best of things sour if we let it. This enemy is stress.

Stress can come at us at any time in our life that we let it or when we least expect it.

Stress can hit when we have too much to do and do not know how to proceed. Stress can also hit us when we have too little to do and don’t know what direction to head into next.

Stress is a force multiplier. A cold or bad sinus day coupled with stress can turn into the flu, pneumonia, a sinus infection, or worse.

Stress comes at us when we do not see everything in our day clearly, you know, that feeling of overwhelm we sometimes get.

Stress can come at us when we do see everything clearly and have some questions.

So how do we combat this enemy, stress?

One way is to short circuit it. Don’t give it a chance to grab hold and attack our minds like a virus.

We can do this by stopping whatever we are doing at the moment and take a deep breath. One of those slowly breathe in until our lungs are full, hold it a few seconds and then breathe out again slowly. And if necessary do it multiple times.

We can take the chaos in our day and map it out on paper or on a computer. Using tools such as a mind map or brainstorming list, we can demystify stress by creating a picture of what is going on and being to see it clearly and remove the fear of the unknown.

We can stop and say a prayer or affirmation for ourselves, our work, our coworkers, etc. and realize that we have most likely survived something like this before and are still here to talk about it.

We can also realize that so long as we are alive, we can make a difference in our lives and in this world.

Our enemy, stress, is single-minded and relentless, but we are stronger, smarter and better equipped to take it on and defeat it.

Battle stations everyone, we have an enemy to defeat!!

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Message of the Day: Interference in Transmission

Good Morning,

My current read by Deborah Tannen: “That’s Not What I Meant” (http://www.amazon.com/Thats-Not-What-I-Meant/dp/0345340906). This book, which I am halfway through, covers a lot about breakdowns in communication. As mentioned in other posts, I believe communication to be the universal solvent and have read many books on the subject, taken several classes on it, been coached and trained on it, and yet, there is always more to learn about it.

One large take away from Deborah Tannen’s book is the clashing of communication styles. This goes beyond people using words that are offensive to others, or being loud and obnoxious, using a system of communication (like Joe Friday, just the facts Maam) versus unchecked stream of consciousness talking (we know the folks who just talk, talk and talk, and change subjects mid sentence, and we realize that what pops in their brains comes out their mouth).

When two or more people with the same communications style interact, they get along famously, even if they only just met. When these same people have different communication styles, then problems start almost from the outset.

Having come from the North East (New York) and living in Louisville (Gateway to the South) the styles of communication, not just the words, the idioms and sayings used are very different. For example:

I grew up with people who spoke very loudly and felt I was finished with my point in a conversation the moment I paused for a breath.

In Louisville, pausing mid sentence is common as people collect their thoughts and think what is best to say next. As an North Easterner, I took that as a sign that their point was completed (in which is generally was not) and so I launched a question or comment into the silent space questioning the incomplete thought.

This then threw off the person I was talking to who had to change gears or just blurt out “I was not done”.

They would see my method of speaking as interruptions and being rude and overbearing, not letting them get a word in edgewise. I saw them as indecisive and confused and speaking incomplete and confusing thoughts.

John, a friend of the family, a Realtor from Alaska, told about dealing with the Indians (some would say Eskimos) and the rude awakening we would get in their method of speaking. If we asked them a question, they would simply look or stare at us in silence for up to a minute or more before responding to us. If we waited, the response we would hear would be very clear, well thought out and quite perceptive. If we did not know this, we would think they were simply ignoring us, or did not understand us, or were not very intelligent, when in fact they are smart, and do wish to respond to us, but in their style of communications.

I have learned to not react to silent pauses and respond, I have grown patience and understanding (although those closest to me would say I need to keep growing, and they would be right, thank you Honey!). This has led to better communication skills with people as I have adapted my communications style.

So, yes, folks, communication does get more complicated because not only do we have to worry about the words we say, the inflections we use in saying them, the body language which goes along with the words themselves, we now have to understand the style of communications used by those we interact with.

I look forward to finishing Deborah Tannen’s book and learning more about communicating more efficiently and effectively and reduce my interference in transmission.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

502-533-9336

Monday, December 8, 2008

Message of the Day - Old Classics Still Pack a Punch

Good Morning,

I do not remember ever reading Ralph Waldo Emerson before, but I certainly know the name. In listening to the 50 Self-Help Classics on CD while driving to and from work, Emerson’s Essay ‘Self-Reliance’ was listed as one of the 50 classics. During the discussion of the work, a couple of points hit me. The first is that it was under 30 pages long, and second that it had just as much value and impact in today’s world as it did when it was first written over 160 years ago. During my last trip to the library, I found an Emerson book with the essay ‘Self-Reliance’ within it.

Saturday night I sat at the dinner table and read ‘Self-Reliance’. I could not believe the writing style. Outside of the typical 19^th Century English used, the words flowed better than most books written today. I felt like I was reading from a true master (which is good, because I was).

The central theme of this work is to challenge convention and be true to your heart and values. He further challenges that if you do not stand up for your beliefs and be true to yourself, that you will amount to less and life a life of mediocrity. This core value is so critical in our world today. With everything moving so quickly and change happening faster than breathing some days, we have to work hard to not get caught up in all and lose ourselves.

I am pretty sure Emerson did not mean to openly challenge authority, to press our luck against the law and business policy just for the sake of doing it. I believe Emerson was telling us to follow our hearts and values and if we are in a place where we cannot be true to ourselves that we either have to stand up and risk the backlash, put up and diminish ourselves, or leave and take our chances somewhere else.

Many of us work in places where we do not feel we are being totally utilized either through working for others or being self-employed or owning a company where you have to follow specific rules and guidelines for various reasons.

In these situations we can still be true to ourselves by sharing our viewpoints in a positive and non-threatening way. We can try to step up and make positive changes and offer help. Challenging convention does not have to be akin to mutiny these days. We can do it in an email with ideas, or a scheduled one on one with our bosses and peers to share our feelings and values. And if it still does not work, you have two more options.

The worst thing we can do is to accept what we do not believe or is against our values. Then we diminish ourselves. Never let that happen!

It was brilliant over 160 years ago, it is still brilliant today; Emerson’s ‘Self-Reliance’ still packs a punch today and can make us all better people due to it.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg