Defensiveness: the Wall of Anti-Learning

Good Morning,

 

I finishing Regi Campbell’s book “Mentor Like Jesus”, and came across another gem. Well, the entire book is a gem and I hope to get a mentoring program like he wrote about set up myself.

 

He shared how those who get defensive during training sessions block themselves from learning what is in the session.

 

Unpacking that concept further, those who are defensive put up walls and block anything from coming in, even if it is good for them.

 

When do we get defensive when we are learning (and keep ourselves from learning)?

 

It’s when we think we already know.

 

When we read something or hear something or see some instruction which we have heard before by another trainer or source, we have two choices.

 

1.       We can watch, listen and learn something we may have not heard before.

2.       Check out mentally, telling ourselves we already know it and close the door to learning something new.

 

My grandmother taught me the same lesson many years ago. She told me that when someone starts talking to her about something that she already knows, that she plays dumb and listens to them, as you never know if you are going to learn something new.

 

And that is the key, to embrace each interaction, each time of learning as a chance to learn something new.

 

When you read many books or go to many seminars or webinars, etc., after a while, the information can get repetitive.

 

Find something new. What is new? It could be who is delivering the information. Also, it can be their different perspective. 

 

One way to embrace this is change your approach. For example, I love leadership books, yet after 100 plus of them, the message can get dull, yet if approach each new book as something new, you can find new gems, like Dr. Albert Mohler’s, the Conviction to Lead which come at leadership from another perspective then the basic how to. Another approach is to come at learning a subject from the side. One example is to read biographies of great leaders. How did these leaders live their lives, how they became who they were or are, what challenges they faced and how they overcame them?

 

Treat each interaction or learning experience, no matter who you are interacting with, or book or webinar, as a new chance to learn, thereby knocking down our defensive walls, and see if we don’t just walk away with something new.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

Are your memories going to stand the test of time?

Good Morning,

 

When we experience events, go places, watch movies, read books, meet people, new foods, these are all memories for us. And while we can record these to help us remember, they are limited in that they only have value for us or others who have had the same experiences.

 

When I worked at an efficiency apartment complex and had to clean out a room for a man who was moved to a nursing home, I was amazed at the stuff that was left behind. All of it was to be thrown out. He had no family, no friends, or anything who wanted his stuff. The apartment staff and I did keep some of his items while clearing out the rest. The saddest part of it was that each of these items held a memory for the man, but since it was never shared, it had no value. The items were just items and nothing more.

 

It might be morbid to think about what will happen to our memories when we move on, but there is a solution to help keep our memories alive.

 

Share them with others.

 

I am not talking about just sharing stories of things that you did or experienced which you have fond memories of.

 

No, I am talking about taking up a level through mentoring, coaching, or otherwise feeding another, build memories that will be passed on.

 

By sharing your memories as a tool to help expand the horizons of others, your memories not only live on, but have a positive impact on those who you are mentoring.

 

Like Regi Campbell, in his book “Mentor Like Jesus”, make it part of the mentoring process for those whom you mentor agree to mentor others themselves, who then agree to mentor others themselves, and so on and so on.  Then the memories which are made together or shared will cascade through the entire network.

 

Not only will our memories not die off, they have value to many others as well.

 

What if Lord Robert Baden Powell had not shared his leadership skills with the youth of the day in England back in the early 1900’s. His memories and experiences would be limited to his military conquests, and the millions of boys around the world would never have had the chance to do the things they have done through the world wide scouting movement.

 

When making memories, consider sharing some with others, in a meaningful way so that they become fond memories of others, and stand the chance of doing the same for generations to come.

 

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

The Power of YOU

Good Morning,

 

Have you ever experienced a time where you were the answer to a problem.

 

That you were the most knowledgeable about something, or had the right skills or experiences.

 

That if anyone other than you were there, the situation would have unfolded differently, possibly not for the better.

 

How did you feel when that happened, when you were the lynchpin to resolving the problem? Probably pretty darn good.

 

The more you find yourselves in these situations, the more powerful you become.

 

The more you find yourselves working in situations where you are not the solution, the weaker you become.

 

It then makes sense to find where you are strongest and move yourself there.

 

And then the Power of YOU will flourish.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

 

Being Better Equipped

Good Morning,

 

I have a Kirby vacuum system. It is the best vacuum system out there. It seldom gets put head to head with upright vacuums as it is not only an upright, but is one of the best. It seldom gets put up against canister vacuums, but again, it is up there. And it does not get put against shampooers but it does that too.  I used to sell them and I have a hard time buying any other vacuum knowing how good the Kirby system is.

 

When we moved into our new house, we bought an older Kirby on eBay and used that until we upgraded to the latest model. Now, five years later and 3 dogs and multiple cats, there are some carpet stains that just don’t come out with the Kirby shampooer. Even with the fancy pet stain shampoo.  I would go over the stains many times and have just gave up.

 

Then I had a chance to get a carpet and upholstery steamer, a Bissel. I set it up today and have made headway on the stains that I could not get with the Kirby.

 

The Kirby is like the all in one tool that does it all. Some of the all, though, is not that great, and there are better tools, specific to the tasks. Like the steamer versus the shampooer.

 

In life we may go about living the same way. We use the same tool, no matter how good it is, to address all of our problems. Sometimes it works wonderfully and we cling to those successes rather than look at our failures no matter how large the explosion was.

 

Sometimes we need to get a new tool to better equip ourselves for the challenges we face.

 

And at the same time, we should not have so many different tools that we make it difficult for ourselves. Our Kirby really doesn’t have a home in our house, so now I have to find room for the bigger Bissel Steamer.  What would I do if I had an upright, a canister, etc. etc.

 

We are better off with a few good tools which serve us well, and upgrade from time to time as the need arises.  

 

And just if you are thinking, no I am not getting rid of the Kirby, its still the best vacuum out there.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Humble Appreciation - Our Success is often a product of a group effort

Good Morning,

 

We all have a lot to be thankful about, and during times of accomplishment we have even more.

 

So often, though, when we give thanks for what we have or what we have accomplished, it is a quick thank you maybe a few names and done. You know, those unmemorable thank you’s at the Academy Awards, etc.

 

Rarely have I seen true heartfelt appreciation like the one below from an inspiring young man I know through the Boys Scouts of America. He, a fellow Eagle Scout, had recently completed his Wood Badge Training like I had and was to receive his recognition at a recent meeting.

 

What impressed me most was his appreciation he posted on Facebook to show his humble thank you’s.

 

With Edward’s permission I share with you an inspiring thank you which shows true humble appreciation.

 

 

 

“Tonight was pretty awesome, so a great deal of thanks are in order!

 

First, to Greg …. for being a great Course Director and for the fun presentation. Also to Rebecca ….. and James …. for being my Patrol Guides through the Ticket process. It was great to have Sanford Berenberg, Larry …. and J.R. …  visiting, as well as the opportunity to share this moment with the always-awesome Troop/Crew 12 and their families.

 

And, as always, thanks to everyone who has had a hand in this process, even just a little. I can never solely take credit for my achievements because countless people, whether they realize it or not (or even if I realize it or not), have always helped me along the way. So let's keep making Scouting the best organization for our youth that it can be.

 

Finally, a congratulations to Troop 12 for a great celebration this evening, and for their achievements in the recent months. Keep on the trail to Eagle!”

 

 

And if I have not said it before, this 21 year old is going places, I look forward to the great things the Lord has planned for him.

 

He already knows that he is not an island. He knows very little is accomplished worth anything which is not a group effort.

 

Congratulations again Edward!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Ambition the Joy Killer

Good Morning,

 

Having goals is good. Making new goals when old ones are achieved or are no longer relevant is even better.

 

When we give up on a goal, though, it knocks against our ego.

 

Depending on the goal we give up on, it can bring on depression or worse.

 

I remember the goals I had to scratch off my list when I was in the hospital with my two broken legs back in 1995. It was a tough time of readjusting my life.  Beyond changing goals when our lives change are the times we have to give up on goals which were just too pie in the sky to ever reach.

 

Back in another company we had a weight loss challenge for all the staff to participate in. We put in what we wanted to lose, during the time of the competition, and then judged ourselves based on our weight-loss toward that goal. Instead of putting in a goal of 10 – 15 pounds over 2 months, I put in the total weight I wanted to lose, something like 50 pounds. In the time of the challenge, I did lose weight, but I never came close to my goal. It just wasn’t realistic.

 

Although it’s not something we can always avoid, we can reduce the times that we have to give up on goals by making better and more realistic goals.

 

Having a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) is fine, so long as you have the ambition, drive, skills and resources to get it. Sure it will be a push, and sure it will be painful as you and your team stretch to enter that new realm of performance.

 

There are, though, times when our goals are so audacious, they are simply impossible. Yes, I used the impossible word, and yes there times something is only impossible because no one did it yet.

 

There are also times when goals are so out there, like to train to run a 1 minute mile. Without bionics and cybernetics, it is not likely humans will be running 60 miles an hour any time soon. Maybe if I trained for that I could have lost 50 pounds in a month.

 

Yes it is outlandish, but sometimes we set ourselves up for failure, driven by ambition, to do things which just don’t make sense.

 

Allowing the passions of ambition to fuel our drive, we need to balance our goal setting with wisdom and practicality or else we set ourselves up for failure.

 

Ambition is good, so is passion. Although, like all things left to run wild, they can end up being joy killers in our lives as we clean up the messes we end up making.

 

The balanced approach allows us to be ambitious and yet keep an eye on practicality.

 

Something to consider.

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336