Message of the Day - Are our needs really OUR needs?

Good Morning,

 

My current read is Warren Bennis’ “Why Leaders Can’t Lead” (http://www.amazon.com/Why-Leaders-Cant-Lead-Unconscious/dp/0787909432). It is very eye opening and unlike any other leadership book I have ever read. While I am not totally sold with all the concepts, it does bring up some interesting issues.

 

The profound lesson I have taken away so far is that we have built up a fake world around us. This faux world has walls, floors, ceilings and items which have been put in place due to constructs from Hollywood, marketing genius and driven by ‘keeping up with the Jones’.’  We know all about marketing and the endless commercials, infomercials and media hype everywhere. That is nothing new, but what struck me was this next thought.

 

After fifty years of seeing movies and television shows depicting great leaders, ones who do everything that we see on the big and small screens, these have become the role models for the leaders we strive to be. That is, leaders strive to fill these dramatized molds of great leaders, which often have nothing to do with being a great leader. This is corroborated by Jim Collin’s findings in ‘Good to Great’ about Level 5 leaders not being the larger than life, movie star leaders. Yet, we look for the stars because it is what our culture has been steered toward wanting and needing.

 

What we need, and what we really need is sometimes hard to discern. Over the last few years I have tried to stop running off and making impulse purchases and signing up for the latest course, for which my wife and checkbook are grateful. The impulses are still there to fill these ‘needs’, but my willpower to not get them is growing. A lot of what we think we want, we really don’t, we are often victims of the hype.

 

I will continue to explore more ways to find my true needs over those that others try to sell me as my needs. I hope you can and will do the same.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - A time for caution and a time for action

Good Morning,

 

Last night at the Scottish Society of Louisville meeting, I read a news article from the Scotsman.com online newspaper. The article talked about a man, Donald Boyne, who saved a drowning woman against the advice of the local police.  http://news.scotsman.com/latestnews/Police-nominate-hero-who-saved.4121102.jp

 

Yeah, that shocked me too, but I read on.

 

Turns out the teenage woman had jumped into Aberdeen Harbour and was drowning in freezing water. The police were ordered not to jump in and were getting a buoyancy aid to save the woman without endangering themselves, otherwise exercising caution.

 

Donald Boyne ignored the warning and dove in and saved the woman just before she slipped under the ice. He knew that something had to be done, it was a time for action, not caution. Mr. Boyne succeeded in saving the young lady.

 

Like this incident, there are times to be cautious and there are times to act (hopefully we do not have to encounter these extreme incidents too often). The hard part is knowing which is which. Luckily there will be times when that ‘gut’ feeling tells you when to act. It takes time, effort and trial and error to understand your ‘gut’ feelings, but it is worth it.

 

Caution can be good, but it can also stop you from taking advantage of what can be done now.

 

Donald Boyne was awarded the Royal Humane Testimonial from the Royal Humane Society. He knew he had to do something to save somebody’s daughter.

 

What will you earn when you just know you have to take action?

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Ice Cream with A Positive Attitude, Accountability, Efficiency and a Cherry on Top!

Good Morning,

 

My family stayed home this Memorial Day weekend and participated in the 3:00 PM moment of silence amongst other things in memory of those who served so that we may live our lives as we do today. After dinner we went to Graeters Ice Cream (http://www.graeters.com) in our neighborhood (Fern Creek, KY). When we arrived we saw one person behind the counter, Adam. He was taking care of customers, answering phone calls and did it all with a smile. We looked for another employee but did not see one.

 

As Karen, the girls and I ordered our ice cream, a line of people started streaming in. Adam kept at serving each and every customer, one at a time. No one came out of the back and it became apparent he was alone. Adam never once showed any signs of frustration. He kept smiling, joked with the customers and wished everyone a great day, all the time making ice cream after ice cream like a dancer moving around the counters. He even told a young boy that the most scoops of ice cream he ever put on a cone was seven (7)!

 

While we ate our ice cream, I overheard Adam say to the third person who asked if he was alone today. He said yes and that the weather originally called for rain, so he did not schedule another person for this shift. It did not rain, but that was okay according to Adam, he would make due. Help was coming in about half an hour, and that was okay. The line remained steady and one by one, Adam took care of each and every one of them.

 

You know, not one person turned around and left. Maybe it was Graeter’s great ice cream, it is our favorite! Maybe it was Adam’s smile and cordial dealings with each customer, or maybe it was the hot humid weather. Maybe it was a little bit of all three.

 

I was so impressed by Adam’s positive attitude, acceptance of the situation handed to him, and the drive to give excellent service throughout.

 

Adam is a winner. I hope to be served by him again on our next trip. I hope others learn from Adam, and give excellent service with a smile, and turn a rough situation into a good one.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Choosing How You Spend Your Time

Good Morning,

 

My current read is a short book by Andy Stanley called ‘Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins when Family and Work Collide?’ (http://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Cheat-Wins-Family-Collide/dp/1590523296). By Cheating, the author is saying taking time away from someone. It has nothing to do with infidelity.

 

I liked this book because it brought up some very powerful messages about how we use our time. The American Dream has been to work hard and then retire with your family. As you work toward this dream, you can easily sacrifice your time for your career and cheat your family of it. The more time you spend away from the family the greater the impact it has. I keep thinking of the song ‘Cat’s in the Cradle’ by Harry Chapin.

 

When you miss your kid’s sports game due to a business commitment, whether you realize it or not, you are telling them that your business commitment is more important to you than being at their game. I know it is not as simple as that, but think about it from a child’s perspective. These events add up over the course of years.

 

If you can find a way to spend more time with your family now, then when you do reach your retirement, you will have a better family life to retire to.  This means making sure you maintain a good work-life balance. Anyway, as Andy Stanley points out, how many people at the end of their days says ‘I wish I had spent more time in the office’? Why wait until the end of your days?

 

Spend more time with your family now. It is hard, I know. I have struggled with leaving work on time every day. I don’t make it every day, but I am usually in the car on the way home by 10-15 minutes after my quitting time. Very little will get in the way of this, but it happens. Luckily for me when I have to stay late at work, or go on a business function, it is the exception and my family is accepting of this.  

 

Remember, we work for our family, and not the other way around. Choose how to spend your time wisely as you can only spend it once.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Team Frustrations are Normal

Good Morning,

 

This past weekend, during my trip, my friend Howard gave me a small pile of books. Two of these were Kenneth Blanchard Books, ‘The One Minute Manager Develops High Performing Teams’ and ‘Empowerment Takes More Than a Minute’ (http://www.blanchardlearning.com). Being short books and having a few airports to sit and wait through, I ended up reading both.

 

In each of these books there is talk about the challenges of getting teams to be high performing teams. In every case, no matter how much or how little time it takes, every team is going to move through four stages. The four stages; forming, storming, norming and performing, happen to all companies. Kenneth’s books use other names for these same four stages, but I prefer these.

 

The forming stage is when a team is first put together and get their marching orders. The storming stage is when a team first tries to work together and the storming starts. People try to feel out their boundaries, who owns what process or activity, who is the best of this process, who will report that, etc. There can be a heightened frustration during these times. This is normal, honest.

 

What needs to happen to get the team past the storming phase is a strong leader. Someone who can direct the team and move them past the issues. Yet, at the same time, this leader has to be good enough to allow the team to feel out their roles and focus on their own. A leader who mandates every little detail of a team activity will never truly have a team, as he will find himself back in the command and control days with a bunch of robots, upset robots at that.

 

Teams must work out their issues themselves with the guidance of a leader. And through the hard work, the team will come together.

 

If you are there, keep working on it, it will be worth it in the end.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Disagreements can lead to understanding

Good Morning,

 

Everyone has their own opinion on pretty much anything and everything. This is good, as we are all individuals, which can easily be seen. What we do not see though, is people sharing their opinions in places where it would really make a difference. In our interactions with others, we often find people who are afraid of confrontation will even accept other peoples opinions and go with decisions based on these opinions when they feel otherwise, or worse yet, know that it will not work or is not the best decision for the team or company.

 

If everyone is in agreement, and based on the above, most people are not really in agreement, they are keeping quiet, then the opportunity to find the best solution is being lost. By comparing opinions and thoughts and working through problems, the best solutions can come about.

 

Remember, none of us are as smart as all of us – Warren Bennis and others.

 

While confrontation can be intimidating, how does it compare to accepting solutions you know are not the best, in part, due to people not sharing their thoughts and opinions? When you see an opportunity for improvement, offer your opinion. Try to avoid doing it in a demeaning manner like ‘that is foolish, you should….’ Try something like ‘that is good, and how about this?’ 

 

When more people add their thoughts and opinions to a solution, it gives that solution a chance to be the best it can be. Disagreements can be worked out, and everyone can win, if we share our thoughts in a caring and supportive way.

 

This all leads to better understanding and better performance by everyone!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Reflections from the Past

Good Morning,

 

I returned from a short, albeit enjoyable, visit to my old stomping grounds, New York/Connecticut where I visited my Dad, brother, sister, her boyfriend, my favorite uncle and aunt. I also spent a day with my best friends (Howard & Kip), and their lovely ladies (Sarah & Susan). I made an effort to get some of my most favorite foods: products which are not readily available in Louisville, or not as good in Louisville. Sorry, there may be bagels in Louisville, but they are just not the same.

 

Going back to your past, like visiting home or going back to where you used to live, has an interesting impact on you. You become reflective of the events that occurred while you were there, and then you may think of your hopes and dreams while you lived there. Some of them you have achieved, and others you are close to fulfilling, and still others have been forgotten or abandoned. After being reflective you can rekindle some of those old dreams if you like, or muse how much you have grown since you had those dreams.

 

When visiting a house my father used to own on the way back to the airport, we saw trees that he had planted nearly 20 years ago. These trees are now easily over 20 feet tall and nearly that wide. Like these trees, when we reflect on our past, we see what seeds we planted in our lives back then and then can consider where they are now. Are these seeds now tall trees, or are they vacant land?

 

Going back to see where you were helps put perspective on where you are now and where you have plans to go to, now. I am a far different person than I was those 20 years ago, and while I have not continued down the path that I intended back then, to be an engineer and design aircraft, I have come down a far more pleasant path. I help people. And honestly, I don’t miss engineering.

 

Being able to see the past and connect it to the present made me more appreciative of where I am now, and even more so of my friends and family.

 

If you get a chance to reflect, or visit your past by going by an old house or former town, then do so, and take the time to reflect with who you were then and who you are now.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Confronting the Brutal Facts

Good Morning,

 

Several weeks ago I recommended a book, ‘Good to Great’ by Jim Collins (http://www.jimcollins.com/) to a friend of mine who is struggling with some tough issues with an organization he is running. Over Derby weekend, when I ‘got out’ and headed to Pigeon Forge, I was able to get a copy of the book on CD for my friend. And with such a good price, I bought myself one too. Since then I have been listening daily to this wonderful book (I am on disk 6 of eight). If you have read the book, get the CDs anyway, Jim has added new information throughout the work.

 

One part of the book that keeps hitting me in the face is ‘Confront the Brutal Facts’. In the book, Jim talks about how the good to great companies were able to look at what was going on and confronted the bad news as effectively as the good news. As Good To Great is not only for business people but for anyone, we can use this factor to help improve our own lives. Brad Barton, in his book ‘Beyond Illusions’ (http://www.morebetterbooks.com/product.php?productid=69&cat=0&page=1)  talks about doing the very same thing, get past the illusion and see what is really going on.

 

In day to day life we can easily find ways to ignore or make excuses for brutal facts, anything to no confront them and acknowledge them. When we do this, we only hurt ourselves and put off the inevitable. That is the brutal facts do not go away simply because we do not see them anymore. Trust me, they are still there….waiting….they are patient….usually more patient than we are…

 

Back in the late 1980’s I was tasked with cleaning up a storage room. The room was about 4,000 square feet and had over 400 boxes and piles of books and printed matter. I looked at the heaping piles and just sighed, overwhelmed by the tasking and thinking if I really felt healthy enough to be at work that day. Then something interesting happened. Someone there had me look at the piles, not just glancing, but to see deeply into each pile and the room as a whole. I confronted the piles of boxes and books. The more I looked, the more the feeling of overwhelm blew off. After a few minutes instead of thinking ‘OMG!’ I started thinking of a plan of attack to start and finish the reorganization and inventory of the room and all of the boxes and books.

 

In the end, it worked out well, I tackled the job, but during the many hours of work I had to take time and re-confront the brutal reality of the job. Just seeing it once and overcoming it did not mean I was done.

 

Confronting the brutal facts about anything is not just a one time action, it must be done and it must be done more than once.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Religion Does Not Make You Weak

Good Morning,

 

Over the last few weeks I spent some time with friends from a social organization I am a part of. I used to be a firebrand in that group, working at all levels, usually simultaneously and charging off to fight one cause after another. I have distanced myself from that group and engaged in other endeavors like the local Scottish Society, my Home Owners Association, Toastmasters, IABC, GLI and other groups. Also during this time I got religion and I love it. One side effect of my walk with Christ is that I have been calmer, more insightful and I am not so much a firebrand as my days of old.

 

Some of my associates have taken my calmer, more loving nature as me being a weaker person overall. You know, Sanford the Firebrand has gone soft. While I am not as impulsive as I used to be, I have channeled my energies and passion into many different endeavors including my family, work, local charities, my church and my walk with God.

 

When I see the need to stand up and take action, oddly, I find I have more energy and drive than I did in the past. I am still very passionate, but I am also more focused in life and have been getting a lot more out of life every day. I do see that I am not tackling the world’s problems daily like I used to, but when I do stand up, I stand taller and firmer than I have ever done so before. I have also found when I stop myself, and think through and pray for guidance, that more times than not, my charge for whatever is not necessary. And when I need to make a stand, I can do so without being dispersed, exhausted and spent.

 

It takes a lot of strength and humility to not let your ego get the best of you run off and fight the little battles. Save your energies for those causes that truly matter.

 

Religion has made me stronger, not weaker.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - The Barrier to Success called YOU

Good Morning,

 

Welcome new recipients!

 

My latest read was Spencer Johnson’s “’Yes’ or ‘No’: The Guide to Better Decisions” (http://www.whomovedmycheese.com/spencerjohnson/Books.html). The book shows how to create a map to making better decisions by employing both your mind and your heart into the big decisions in life. Not only must you think through the decision to know it is the best, you must also feel through it, and when you see the decision is best with both your head and heart, and then you will make better decisions.

 

There are two questions that are asked. The first is asking the mind, the second is asking the heart:

 

·         Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options, and thinking it through? Yes or No.

·         Does my decision show I am honest with myself, trust my intuition, and deserve better? Yes or No.

 

The part that caught my attention was the tail end of the book, asking yourself; Do I deserve better?

 

Interestingly enough, many of us do not feel that we deserve better, and in fact we often settle for less than we could get. We expect someone to treat us poorly, so we accept it. We expect service to be poor so we accept it. That is, a barrier is put up between us and achieving more of what we want, because we put that barrier there which stops us.

 

By asking if we deserve better in each situation, we are helping ourselves raise the bar on what we feel we deserve in our lives.

 

We can have the better job, we can have the better relationship, and we can have the better whatever we want, starting by allowing ourselves to have it and removing that barrier.

 

When you have a decision to make, remember to ask yourself if you deserve better and if the answer is yes, then allow yourself to accept it. Otherwise, as Todd Arwood often says “If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got”.

 

You deserve better!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Honor is Alive and Well

Good Morning,

 

My current read is “The Genius of Robert E. Lee: Leadership Lessons for the outgunned, outnumbered, and underfinanced” by Al Kaltman (http://www.amazon.com/Genius-Robert-E-Lee/dp/0735201870). It is an interesting book broken down into 260 short lessons which span Robert E. Lee’s lifetime from childhood to his passing in 1870.

 

The list of positive traits of Robert E. Lee would fill a very long email. One of his attributed ‘failings’, though, was that he was honorable and civil to the end. I am not so sure that these are truly failings. Robert E. Lee did not like to offend people, and he may have waited too long at times to replace people, he maintained a personal value system and code of honor which truly impresses me.

 

If in the middle of a war where the enemy outguns, outnumbers and is well fed keeps on you, and your forces are ill-equipped and your governmental leadership is not a supportive as it could be, and you are watching young men dying for a cause every day AND you can maintain your values and honor through it, then WOW!.

 

Luckily in life we generally do not have all of these odds against us. Yes we have stress in many areas of our lives, but usually not to life and death 24/7.

 

We should be able to maintain our civility and values and honor in our day to dealings with others.

 

We can be honorable in the little things we do every day. We can keep our promises, and be kind and considerate to others.

 

Honor is alive and well. And if we need a role model for it, we can always look to Robert E. Lee.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - The first step to success

Good Morning,

 

Have you ever noticed that when you are looking forward to an event that it cannot come soon enough, and time flies by as you experience it? Conversely, when you are not looking forward to an event, that is comes by and drags along as you experience it?

 

Time flies when you are having fun. You have all heard this. And when you are not having fun, time drags, you hear lines like ‘are we there yet, is it over yet, do we have to stay, etc.’ Everything seems a bit darker while we are enduring. And for some of us, when we are like this, the WHOLE world knows it too. “If Momma is unhappy, then no one is happy.” – Some wise person.

 

Our attitude and approach to something then determines how that event will come off. If we are reluctant, the event will most likely not be exciting and entertaining or even educational.

 

As stated in other posts, we have the ability to change our attitudes (Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl). We may not be able to change the facts in life that are facing us, but we can change how we face them. Sometimes this makes all the difference in the world.

 

Whenever I have to do something that I am not thrilled about doing, I try to make it a game. How fast and efficiently can I perform this task? I then make an unpleasant task more palatable. I may still not like the what has to be done, but it seldom drags and brings me down when I remember to make it a game.

 

The first step to success is: wanting to do what needs to be done. If you cannot make yourself want it, then make it a game and make it enjoyable, it is amazing the difference you will experience.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - A Bad Experience Can Lead to a New Opportunity!

Good Morning,

 

Over this past weekend Karen and I visited with some old friends and in a bizarre way made new friends. A situation which could have escalated out of control was turned around to see everyone’s better side and loving nature.

 

Instead of focusing on what happened, we looked at who was involved and as shared in the book “Managing From the Heart”, we looked at the loving intentions of others and saw wonderful people.

 

How often do we get involved in arguments or stressful situations where we key in on and only focus on the negative and avoid seeing the bigger picture?

 

How many lost opportunities to make new friends or create a win-win situation do we miss out on?

 

In every negative situation, there is often an opportunity for something positive to come from it.

 

Keep an eye out for it even during the heat of the moment.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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Messages of the Day - Strength in Numbers

Good Morning,

 

Still no sign of the lost posting from Tuesday… I am told emails can take as much as 72 hours…  Anyway, as I continue to read ‘Me to We’ I am finding many delightful and insightful real life stories of what people are doing to make a difference in the world.

 

The most recent section I read has to do with working in groups, and organizing to teams for even greater accomplishments. If you have a task to perform, and you are part of a group, the amount of time it will take to finish the task is often directly related to the number of helpers. In Ecuador, there is a term called ‘Minga’ where everyone drops what they are doing and help out in a controlled riot of help. Another example of a Minga would be a barn building where the town gathers together to help one cause.

 

There is strength in numbers and there is also safety in numbers. The best example of this is with the zebras. A single zebra looks like a prime target for any predator, and in fact, they are. But in groups, zebras have protection by their very numbers. If you looked at a large group of zebras closely, you would have a hard time deciding where one zebra starts and another stops. The outlandish black and white strips cause a mystifying effect which deters many predators as they only see a blur. Researches painted red spots on some zebras to study them, only to find out that they were then easy pray by the predators as they lost their strength of numbers.

 

Working together and joining forces for a cause can have a great impact on getting work completed, taking on and completing a project or simply facing the rigors of the day and troubles we call life.

 

You are never alone when you have others willing to work with you and help you.

 

Remember, there is strength in numbers.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!