Monday, February 16, 2009

Message of the Day - Why do we follow the lead of those who agitate us?

Good Morning,

 

I have been taking my time reading through Marcus Aurelius and came across a passage which caught my attention.

 

“In everything which happens keep before thy eyes those to whom the same things happened, and how they were vexed, and treated them as strange things, and found fault with them: and now where are they? Nowhere. Why then dost thou chose to act in the same way? and why doest thou not leave these agitations which are foreign to nature, to those who cause them and those who are moved by them? and why art thou not altogether intent upon the right way of making use of the things which happen to thee? for then thou wilt use them well, and they will be a material for thee to work on. Only attend to thyself, and resolve to be a good man in every act which thou doest…”

 

I have been a part of and left organizations, companies and groups which have become, for me, painful to be a part of. I see many others who are like the moth, cannot stay away from the bright light. There are people in these groups and organizations who like to ‘get into your face’ in whatever we do. There are nitpickers who have to pick out every error and correct every misstep, almost as if they would be struck by lightning if they did not act to save your grammar or accuracy. There are those who only see the negative someone has done in the past and cannot no matter how wonderful the work is, see beyond the issues or perceived issues of the past. There are those who attack any new ideas and fight tooth and nail to protect the ‘glory days’ which have, according the rest of the world, been left over a decade ago.

 

These people can be very unpleasant and put several of them in the same room or email list and you might as well have a pool of hungry piranhas with food dropped in. These folks may be very kind and loving people, but once they sit behind the keyboard or go to a group function, their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde transformation takes place, and the vile ugliness spews from their lips and off their keystrokes.

 

Yet, knowing all of this, we tend to keep going back to these groups, sending out new emails to this email lists and become frustrated at the same heated, unpleasant and ugly responses we often get. New blood joins the team and organization and their good intentions are met with sledgehammers and pile drivers of negativity. Some of the new blood then leaves, others go into hiding and others join the rebellion and add to the vitriol flying around.

 

And we stay a part of these groups, why? A paycheck is involved? (ok, in this economy, that is a good reason to stay). Some stay because they call it fun. (and that is fine if there is enjoyment in being the receiving end of an inside charge of 300 plus pound offensive linemen).

 

If the feelings we get by being a part of a group or organization is painful and sickening, it is a sign to step away, change your affiliation or just plain leave. No one should be forced to pay a high entrance fee of verbal or electronic brutality to be part of a group that interests them. There are many others out there. For example: Toastmasters, which is a very positive organization, which is focused on helping you improve yourself.

 

And while there are politics in all groups and organizations, remember that you do not have to put up with or keep being a part of those which as Marcus Aurelius says ‘and why doest thou not leave these agitations which are foreign to nature’. You can stand up to make a change, or barring that, find others who are more receptive to you and what you have to offer.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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