The Sanford Berenberg Experience: Message of the Day

Good Morning,

My current read is Jeswald W. Salacuse's "The Art of Advice: How to Give it and How to Take it" (http://www.amazon.com/Art-Advice-How-Give-Take/dp/081292102X). While this book is focused to help the professional advisor and consultant, it offers a lot to the casual advisor as well.

Like all facets of life, we may not realize all that goes into a skill or profession. This is certainly the case with giving advice. It is a lot more than just listening to someone who has an issue and giving some feedback and suggestions. Sure most of us do this, but a seasoned and highly sought after advisor does so much more.

In this book, the author shares with us some principles on giving advice:

1. Know your client. By knowing who we are giving advice to, we can cater our advice to who they are, and what situation they are in. We may also find that we are really not qualified to give advice to certain people or in certain situations. If we find ourselves in a conversation with some Doctors talking about the latest therapy, and wondering if it will be effective or not, then chiming in to give advice when we, ourselves have little knowledge of the field would be kind of silly (and embarrassing).

2. Help, or at least, do no harm. That old Hippocratic oath strikes again. Most folks probably do not even think real hard about what advice they give others. That if followed or ignored, what impact the advice will have on them. Some folks just want to be the one giving the advice, no matter how inane, or worse, dangerous it really is.

3. Agree on Your Role. Were we even asked to give advice? Are we an advisor? If so, are we going to give advice as seasoned professional in the area the person needs help. Are we going to offer advice in a one-way diatribe, or are we going to work in a supportive role, helping by giving little nudges here and there. Think of it this way, are we like a manager giving orders, a coach who directs while supporting, or are we like a cheer leader giving support with little nudges as necessary.

4. Never give a solo performance. Advice is for the recipient to use, or not use, for them to learn from and grow from. Advice should not change into they who give advice are now they who do the work being suggested. Some folks are known for that. You make a suggestion to a friend or a boss and you get the task. Kind of makes it acceptable not to offer any advice in those situations...

5. Make the Process Clear and Constructive. Advice should be mostly positive and focus on what can be done. Telling someone about a lost opportunity or a mistake that cannot be undone is a waste of time and also demoralizing. Remember number 2. Advice should also be given in a form the recipient can understand, and in a manner which they can readily employ. Suggesting the impossible or even improbable is not going to get us invited back to give further advice.

6. Keep Your Advice Pure. People often ask for advice when they are mired in a difficult situation and are having trouble being objective. The independent advisor can be that objective voice. The challenge, though, is to remain unbiased. If we have interests in the outcome of the situation we are advising for, then our advice is not pure, it is skewed to our interests. True advisors must separate themselves and suggest what they feel is best for their client, friend, etc.

7. Agree on the End at the Beginning. When advice is asked for, it makes sense to know if this is a one shot exercise, or if the advisor will be tapped multiple times over the course of a project or a career. Understanding this up front helps paints the picture of what the advisor is being asked to do by the person asking for advice. Knowing the start and stop of the advisory relationship helps keep everyone focused.

As mentioned above I was not aware of the complexities which can become part and parcel of being asked for advice. While not all interactions may need this full framework, it is helpful to see this to understand how we all can be better advisors to those who we care about.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg
Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/
Follow Me on Twitter! http://twitter.com/sberenberg