The Sanford Berenberg Experience: Message of the Day

Good Morning,

My current read is a break from the seriousness called ‘Soaring Above The Madness: Surviving Office Politics without losing your mind, your job or your lunch’ by Miriam Drennan and Joel Anderson (http://www.amazon.com/Madness-Surviving-Office-Politics-Without/dp/1558539794). The book drips with sarcasm and humor and caused many a good laugh. There is though, some food for thought found within its pages.

In the section on communication, the book references being able to communication through Osmosis and ESP as a means to effectively communicate with our coworkers and bosses. While this sounds funny, it is a something that we actually do today. We assume that other people know what we are talking about and what we mean when often times we do not convey our ideas in a manner they understand or worse at all. Sometimes we just think about something and expect others to simply understand what we want.

For example, Karen and I had an argument about communication last week. During the conversation I pulled out a notepad and started a to-do list and we agreed upon each item on the list. Mind you, I had said I would use a to-do list many times and had not, so this was my failure. The morning after the list was made Karen left a check written to her on top the pad with no instructions on what to do with it.

So here I had a detailed list of what steps I needed to do and how, and then I had this check sitting there with no instructions. I assumed I would deposit it, or should I cash it. Or, do I deposit some of it and cash the rest of it, but into what accounts? The communication through osmosis was not working, and neither was the ESP. My morning headache seemed to be creating static on the ESP line anyway.

Later I was informed of the request in detail. Using communications of talking, Karen and I made a list of to-dos with clear instructions, and the following day, I did them, as requested and in the manner agreed upon by both of us.

Using the communications of osmosis and ESP, I was lost. I tried to guess what was wanted, but in the end I did nothing until what time that I could clarify using communication of what was wanted and needed.

If I had gone ahead with my hunch I would have caused myself double or triple work and probably had another argument.

As communication through osmosis does not work that well, it may be best for all of our sanity to use a dose of verbal, non-verbal and inflective communication (what you say, how you say it and your body language) to clarify what we want.

How many times do we try to communicate through osmosis or ESP (when we feel that someone should understand what we are saying or feeling or meaning when we have given no indication, verbal or otherwise) and get upset when people just don’t get it. Worse yet, when our friends, family and co-workers do pick up on our communication through osmosis and ESP and we come to expect it. Then when something big comes along, we simply assume it will all work out because we have this osmosis/ESP communication down, and WHAM, it all crumbles apart.

In the end it all worked out due to traditional communications.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net