Message of the Day - The Five Givens of Life

Good Morning,

 

Welcome new recipients!!

 

I am finishing up ‘The Five Things We Cannot Change… and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them’ by David Richo. (http://www.amazon.com/Five-Things-Cannot-Change-Happiness/dp/1590302095). This book was recommended to me earlier this year in the spring by my friend Dr. Hope Stith from Todd Arwood Performance Partners.

 

The five things we cannot change in life, per David Richo, are:

 

1. Things change and end.
2. Everything does not go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Life has pain.
5. People are not always loving and caring.

 

It is hard to argue with each of these things, or as Richo calls them ‘Givens’.

 

The part of the book which really impressed me was how to look at each of these givens and understand that by fighting them we hurt ourselves and those we love.

 

For example, things do always end, even little things, like vacations. I used to feel depressed the end of vacations. It does not matter if it is a one day visit or a two week vacation, I would start feeling down at the end when I have to pack up and go home. It does not matter how much I enjoyed the trip or how much I did during it, it is the fact that when I am packing up, it means the end of the trip.

 

To help me get passed this feeling, when I am packing up, I think through everything I need to do when I get home. I get myself interested in wanting to get home and get onto a specific project, start reading a new book, or something. It takes my mind off of what is ending and the feelings that I used to have.

 

It is amazing that each of these givens can give us happiness if we find ways to accept them and do not get caught up in the negative feelings they can generate.

 

1. When things end, new opportunities often arise. How many times have we learned something new because we could not study the old?
2. Being flexible allows you embrace the unexpected. When we learn from what we missed our plans improve. It is a cycle which helps us move toward perfection.
3. We cannot always have what we want when we want it, and that is okay, it gives us a chance look at life differently.
4. Pain can bring happiness. Giving birth is painful (or so I am told), but is truly joyous.
5. It is not that they try to hurt others, but it happens. If we focus on their loving intentions we learn to love them even more.

 

I am happy I read this book, it taught me a lot.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

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