Thursday, July 18, 2013

Preconceived and Limited

Good Morning,

 

First impressions are strong and often hard to shake. Even when they later turn out to be wrong.  Additionally, we often have expectations of what things should be and formulate preconceived notions.  Both of which do us no good when they are basically illusions, which often happens as people and situations change, but our opinions don’t.

 

This video is a funny example of a preconceived notion at work.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAbKV6lmvDM

 

A challenge we face is that we cannot NOT have first impressions and we cannot NOT formulate opinions about our experiences with others.  

 

What we CAN do is change our opinion as the evidence of the person or situation changes. What we need to do is be open to when they do.

 

When we allow for our impressions to change; a not so nice people turn out to be some of the warmest hearted people, or the cheapest person is truly a generous person, etc., we remove the limiting beliefs that can put walls up between ourselves and what is truly going out in the world around us.

 

I would not have the best friend I have if I did not allow my first impressions to change. My first experience with him was he was cold, mechanical and opinionated. Not a good start to a friendship.

 

Over time, I saw that he is one of the most caring and loving people I have ever met, a wonderful Dad and great husband, not to mention the best Chiropractor. What I saw as cold was his defense against those he did not trust. What I saw as mechanical was the process of learning what he did not know, absorbing it and making it his own (instead of blowing things off, he tries to understand them). What I saw as opinionated, well that is still the same, but because I changed my impression, I have a brother who is a Jonathan to me.

 

When you see people or things which are not what you originally thought, give them a second chance, but keep your guard up as you do. There are some not so loving people out there.  Test the new perceptions.

 

At the same time, don’t close off the wall to everyone just because they were a ‘Marine’ and you like warm and fuzzy people. Stereotypes are NOT always your friend.

 

Let go of your preconceived notions when it makes sense to.

 

Maybe you too could be friends with Chuck Norris (see the video).

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

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