The Sanford Berenberg Experience: Message of the Day - Reduce Stress, Stop Doing What You Hate (restrictions apply)

Good Morning,

It was Sunday morning and I had overslept and missed my regularly scheduled Bible study class. The previous night was a late night with the Scottish Society Burns Night Gala, and me getting home sometime near midnight. Way passed the bedtime of someone who likes to be in bed by 9:30 or 10 the latest. Anyway, the night before I got to know the Pastor of another church who attended Burns Night and who invited me to their service. Since that was about two hours later than my normal 9 AM class, I decided to drag my sorry butt out of bed and get ready.

I was joined by some friends who normally attend that church. During the service I tried to put a little distance between me and others as we sang. We sang hymns that I am not familiar with. So coupled with my lack of familiarity and my hideous singing voice (don’t try to make me feel better, I know my singing voice is atrocious, and I am okay with that), I realized that this was just another thing that I am not good at.

Like working on cars, I have to be very careful not to mess anything up or I would have to add to the number of mad dashes I’ve made to the auto repair shop to fix the mess I made as well as the original problem.

There are just things that I am not good at.

And there are things that I do pretty well.

And there are a few things that folks think I am the Bee’s knee’s (I believe that means something good).

In some recent reading I came across ways to reduce stress in life by doing more of the things that we are good at, and less of the things that we are not. That when doing the stuff that we struggle with or have a hard time with, the frustration at our poor execution causes us stress. It makes it difficult for us to enjoy the effort.

I don’t mind singing, knowing that to whom I am sing to enjoys it. The folks around me, not so much.

That to make our lives more enjoyable, and less stressful, we need to focus our time and efforts in areas where we have more talent, skill and get more enjoyment from what we do.

As a test, look over those things that you like to do and those that you hate. Which do you do better at? Which do you perform better? Which do you finish without any loss of life, or threats of loss of life?

If our lives are getting too crazy and frustrating, one tip is to focus our time and energy on those things we do well at, that give us enjoyment (with the caveat that they are legal, ethical and within your budget, and no, I am not going to lend/give you money).

When working in teams, and families are teams, or should be, we can shift duties and activities so that those folks who enjoy certain tasks can do them and hand off those they don’t. It may never end up with everyone doing everything they love, like cleaning toilets or cat boxes, but it may result in everyone doing less of the things they are not so good at and cause them stress.

At your job, instead of stopping doing what you hate (you need to work to get paid), work with your boss to change your role and responsibility if there are activities which you struggle with and drain you. You may be surprised that they already know your strengths and struggles are more than happy to help you become a more effective team player.

It might be worth it to take a look at what you can divest to reduce the stress in your life.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/
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