The Sanford Berenberg Experience: Message of the Day

Good Morning,

I really enjoy this next piece:

There’s an old story of a young lady who was taken to dinner one evening by William Gladstone and then the following evening by Benjamin Disraeli, both eminent British statesmen in the late nineteenth century.

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England,” she said. “But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.”

Disraeli obviously had a knack for making the other person the center of his universe, if only for the evening. If you practice attentiveness to others, you’ll find it does wonders. They will enjoy it, and so will you. You will accomplish much more.

It’s really easy to make ourselves the center of the world like William Gladstone did in that story. His focus was on showing his audience how great and wonderful he was. It was a passing fancy and his greatness will be lost by the audience when the next person tries to do the same time.

On the other hand, it is not so easy to focus on our audience and put them on a pedestal and learn from them, making them feel like the most interesting person in the world. Our audience will remember that time for a real long time.

A passing ooh-ahh story about Gladstone, or a lasting wow from Disraeli. Which do you think makes the most impact on someone’s life.

If you guessed Disraeli, you are correct!

Just like the sweetest word anyone can hear is someone speaking their name (props to Dale Carnegie) one of the most enriching experiences is to share about yourself and have people be truly enjoy hearing about you.

We can give that to others just by changing the focus from us being the center of the universe for a short bit.

I have tried to change my focus when listening to others to drop what I am doing if I can and listen to them. Really listen to what they are saying. In this endeavor, I have learned a lot about a lot from people who may seem ordinary or boring, who actually have a wealth of knowledge to share. I did that this weekend when volunteering time to help a local Boy Scout Troop I work with. When we had breaks I sat and listened to those who talked. I asked questions to learn more and found the conversations to be very interesting.

I’ve noticed how smiles grow as others share what they are passionate about, and I walk away with some knew knowledge and often a new friend.

There is power in listening, but sadly few stop long enough to do it. I still find myself fighting the urge to talk about me, and dominate a conversation. When I can shut my own trap and listen, there are very often fruits of wisdom to be had by the everyday people we interact with in our lives.

Don’t be a Gladstone, let others share about themselves and learn. Share when appropriate, but don’t dominate the conversations.

Be a Disraeli and listen. You will find that you can learn and grow daily just from listening to others.

Enjoy!

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/
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