The difference between knowing others and investing in them

Good morning,

 

The other day I stopped by a coffee shop that I had used to frequent. I had not been there for about a year. Some of the people in line and some who were behind the counter were new, but one lady I remembered, and apparently she never forgot me. In fact, she even prepared my coffee just the way I liked it, even with not having seen me in a year.  

 

It really made me feel good to be remembered after this time. It surprised me as the amount of people these folks see daily, weekly, etc., is huge. To remember me out of all of this, how?

 

Some could say that she was that good of a barista, although I think it is something more.

 

When I frequented the shop, I invested time into talking with the baristas at the shop. She was one of them. She reminded me of my Mother and is also from New York City, so we had a lot in common.

 

Again, there are a lot of people in Louisville who are transplants from New York or the northeast in general, but for most I never made a connection. I never invested time into creating a friendship.  

 

It was that invested time that endured for over a year. It was stopping by several mornings a week for a few years, saying hello, and sharing parts of my life and interests and they doing the same.

 

Investing in others builds relationships, it creates friendships.

 

It is the fertilizer that builds even when you don’t realize you are doing it. Just by being a kind friendly person, and sharing of yourself, you are planting seeds which will grow fruit in the time to come.

 

I promised my friend I would visit again, but this time in less than a year.

 

There is knowing people, and then there is investing in them.

 

Which do you think creates stronger relationships?

 

I think you know.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

 

 

Wisdom in the 'Conviction to Lead'

Good Morning,

 

My current read is ‘The Conviction to Lead’ by Dr. Albert Mohler (http://www.amazon.com/Conviction-Lead-The-Principles-Leadership/dp/0764210041/). It is a book on leadership, yet, it comes at leadership from new angles that I have never read before and in some cases, did not consider. It is a very easy to read book and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

 

Here are a few gems:

 

Leaders need to understand worldviews:

 

“Far too often leaders aim at the surface level and stop there. Read leadership doesn’t happen until worldviews are changed and realigned. You might be able to lead a group to build a house without trying to shape worldviews, but you cannot build a movement that way…Leadership is the consummate human art. It requires nothing less than that leaders shape the way their followers think about what is real, what is true, what is right, and what is important.”

 

Leaders are Thinkers:

 

“Our actions may never reach the heights of our thinking, but you can be certain that the quality of your actions will even exceed the quality of your thinking”.

 

Seems common sense after reading these, but how often do we, as leaders, even consider them? Probably not enough.

 

I am looking forward to continuing to enjoy this book and the wisdom it imparts.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

Too Much, Too Little or Just enough

Good Morning,

 

In helping others I often feel that I don’t do enough. That there is always more that I can and should do.  Like when I walk by a homeless person and I don’t have another cent on me.

 

Then there are those opportunities which come up to help others, some easy, some hard, some a one-time act, others a long-time commitment.

 

When I decide to help more, I often hear from others, those I love and trust, those who care about me, who say that I do too much and I should cut back.  That I should avoid burning out.

 

I could cut back, but I want to do more. I need to focus my efforts on fewer endeavors to do more and not spread myself thin, but there is so much need.

 

Too much, too little which is it?

 

I guess, in reality I am somewhere in the middle, doing more than others think I should be doing, but not quite enough to satisfy my desire to help others.  

 

I hunger to help more, but am tempered to keep a balance.

 

That is, I am in the right place for me.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

 

Working to our strengths

Good Morning,

 

My current read is “Rommel: Leadership Lessons from the Desert Fox” (http://www.amazon.com/Rommel-Leadership-Lessons-Desert-Generals/dp/B00ANYFOE0) by Charles Messenger. I had heard a lot about Rommel through the years, but never enough to satisfy my curiosity, so when I found this book, I added it to my library. It did a good job covering the Field Marshall’s career, personality and leadership style.

 

Rommel was exceptional in his area of expertise. He was a brilliant tactician, made fast and sound decisions, and could exploit any found weaknesses in his adversary.  He liked to lead from the front, seeing everything as it happened and changed gears on a dime. The more he could remain in the know, leading from the front, the more he would succeed, and the less his opponents could withstand his hard driving forces. He loved reconnaissance and gaining new information as it happened. He would never ask his men to do anything that he was not prepared to do himself, and often visited his troops, taking a mobile headquarters with him to allow him to be visible by the most of people possible (several times to his enemies as well).

 

Due to his successes, he was given higher and higher commands. Those which took him away from the front lines and away from the latest information (in times before cell phones, social media and Wi-Fi). When forced to work at higher and higher levels of command, he lost his polish and made less sound decisions.  His mindset was a military one, seeing everything through that lens. Moving to a political level leadership, he failed to embrace politics and often bucked heads with those he worked with.

 

He may not have recognized as he moved away from his strength’s his effectiveness also lessened.

 

Rommel’s example clearly shows the power of working to your strengths.

 

Are you working to your strengths in what you do in life, or do you find that you have moved away from that which you excel and are struggling?

 

Something to consider.

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Are you more a Team Player than a 14 year old?

Good Morning,

 

Since teams have been the ‘in’ thing, everyone now is measured on how good a team player they are, either officially or unofficially. It’s come a long way from picking players to be on your kickball team. Criterions include: how long they get along with other team members, how they work toward the goals of the team and how little distractions and drama they cause along the way.  Each team player, though is usually still an individual with their own goals, agenda. The best balance the work with their team and their own work.

 

Being on multiple teams, as well as doing more with less, team participation can be reduced to sitting in on weekly update meetings, or if you are lucky, conference calls while sitting at your desk doing other work and sharing a few words for updates.  Personally I see this ‘teamwork’ becoming stale not nearly as productive as it once was, and then I saw an example of teamwork from one of my Boy Scouts (I am a Scoutmaster) which took teamwork to a new level.

 

We had annual elections coming up for the honor society of Scouting. The boys were given instructions on how to vote, and who was eligible. As is common with teenagers, not everyone heard all of the instructions. One fourteen year old, who, was himself eligible for the vote, thought he heard he could only vote for one of the people on the list.

 

Easy decision, right?

 

Wrong.  He agonized over who to vote for. Which of his fellow Scouts best represented the ideals of the honor society.  He pondered this and then made his one vote.

 

While I do not remember who he voted for, I do remember this, he did not consider himself. He knew he was eligible, but he also knew that he was not the best of the best, and focused on what was best for the troop.

 

I am happy to report that he did get enough votes from the other Scouts and he is going shortly to begin his participation in the honor society of Scouting, the Order of the Arrow.  In all the boys who are going, it is he, who I feel is most qualified, because he understood a key point in team work that many others have long since lost.

 

It is not:

 

What do I get out of it?

What’s the least I can do and still be a good team player?

How long do I have to do this for?

 

It is:

 

What is best for the team, and what I can do to help make that happen?

Making a sacrifice for the good the team and its goals.

 

 

A great example from a 14 year old.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

 

Preconceived and Limited

Good Morning,

 

First impressions are strong and often hard to shake. Even when they later turn out to be wrong.  Additionally, we often have expectations of what things should be and formulate preconceived notions.  Both of which do us no good when they are basically illusions, which often happens as people and situations change, but our opinions don’t.

 

This video is a funny example of a preconceived notion at work.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAbKV6lmvDM

 

A challenge we face is that we cannot NOT have first impressions and we cannot NOT formulate opinions about our experiences with others.  

 

What we CAN do is change our opinion as the evidence of the person or situation changes. What we need to do is be open to when they do.

 

When we allow for our impressions to change; a not so nice people turn out to be some of the warmest hearted people, or the cheapest person is truly a generous person, etc., we remove the limiting beliefs that can put walls up between ourselves and what is truly going out in the world around us.

 

I would not have the best friend I have if I did not allow my first impressions to change. My first experience with him was he was cold, mechanical and opinionated. Not a good start to a friendship.

 

Over time, I saw that he is one of the most caring and loving people I have ever met, a wonderful Dad and great husband, not to mention the best Chiropractor. What I saw as cold was his defense against those he did not trust. What I saw as mechanical was the process of learning what he did not know, absorbing it and making it his own (instead of blowing things off, he tries to understand them). What I saw as opinionated, well that is still the same, but because I changed my impression, I have a brother who is a Jonathan to me.

 

When you see people or things which are not what you originally thought, give them a second chance, but keep your guard up as you do. There are some not so loving people out there.  Test the new perceptions.

 

At the same time, don’t close off the wall to everyone just because they were a ‘Marine’ and you like warm and fuzzy people. Stereotypes are NOT always your friend.

 

Let go of your preconceived notions when it makes sense to.

 

Maybe you too could be friends with Chuck Norris (see the video).

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336

 

 

A free ticket to the amusement park

Good Morning,

 

Advertising and marketing has changed greatly over the years, although one thing remains constant, the offer to provide something; a fun time, better performance, improved efficiency, promotion. Something.

 

With the onslaught of marketing messages barraged at us through all sorts of means (advertise here) it appears organizations need to broadcast louder, brighter and give even bigger discounts to get their messages across.

 

An ad for 10% off everything in a bookstore will make me smile. One for 40% off will make me check my calendar. One for an even bigger discount could have me making plans on the spot. We do the same things in business and other organizations, that is use enticements to get people to do their jobs.

 

Many companies even build in programs behind these enticements. Some companies give monetary awards for 100% attendance, creating the incentive to come to work more. Others give bonuses for performance. Great enticements open the door for great performance.  People want to do more.

 

I know of one company which has something like ‘build your own bonus.’ The more employees performed the higher their bonus. You can imagine the performance of the staff after the first bonus checks were cut.

 

One huge challenge, though, is making it hard if not impossible to achieve what is offered.  Like the free car prize at a golf course for a hole-in-one on a Par 5 hole. Not impossible, but there are likely to be few cars given away.

 

A free ticket to the amusement park sounds great, unless the park is closed, or is unsafe, or too many tickets were given and lines to rides take hours to go through, or is simply a boring park.

 

This is not just for organizations, it is for us, everyday people, too.

 

How often do we haggle, barter or beg for help with housework or other tasks?

 

If we walk the dogs, someone will make dessert. And when we come back from walking the dogs, there is no dessert.  The person is still doing what they were doing before. The enticement becomes worse than worthless, credibility is lost. We feel duped.

 

Some people never forget when something does not get delivered as promised. Others are more forgiving, for a while anyway.

 

There are companies and restaurants who will never see certain customers or patrons again due to enticements failing to provide.

 

The key is to deliver what is promised, and work to remove roadblocks to the incentives or face losing credibility.

 

It is important as parents, as friends, as employers and organizations.

 

Something to think about.

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net
http://www.learnandgrowdaily.com

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

 

Click on the book to order: "Learn And Grow Daily!"

502-533-9336