Thursday, January 29, 2009

Message of the Day: Being Perfect or Being You

Good Morning,

 

My latest read was Anna Quindlen’s ‘Being Perfect’ (http://www.amazon.com/Being-Perfect-Anna-Quindlen/dp/0375505490). It is a short and powerful book with a strong message. I love those books.

 

This book starts off with being perfect and all that goes into acting, thinking and being perfect from the author’s perspective. Then cracks in the shell of perfection start showing up. Over the course of the book, filled with pictures, Anna Quindlen’s message about the importance of being yourself comes through. By the end of the book, it is no longer the goal to be perfect, but to be yourself.

 

We are not perfect. We may be good at some things and maybe even the world’s best in others. Karen, my wife, as previously stated makes the world’s best meatloaf. Since there are more facets to ones life than cooking a mean meatloaf, or giving the best presentations or crafting the best code, there are going to be areas where we are not perfect.

 

And that is ok!

 

Our imperfections then are what make us unique. Everyone has a different level of skill and ability than others. These differences help make it possible for us to be ourselves.

 

Being ourselves means we have an identity which is ours alone.

 

Anyway, the world would be a lot more bland and boring with everyone being perfect. Think of it, no more soap opera’s and sitcoms because everyone is perfect, no mistakes. It reminds me of the episode of Spongebob Squarepants (yes we have young kids…..) where Squidward moves to a community where everything is perfect. What happens, it got old fast.

 

While we should strive to improve ourselves, remember we are looking to be MORE of who we already ARE. Do not try to fill a mold of perfection, because for one thing, it is near impossible. Secondly, if it is not who we are, how long will we have to keep it up? What will happen to us as we funnel all of our energies to be the best in this one area which is not really us?

 

It is okay to be who we are, and work to improve ourselves, and it is okay NOT to be perfect.

 

Being our flawed selves is just fine!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Message of the Day - Where Strengths Become Weaknesses and Weaknesses Become Strengths

Good Morning,

 

If the title of this piece confuses you, don’t worry, we will sort it out in a bit.

 

All People have strengths and all have weaknesses too. These strengths are not so glamorous as Superhero powers and abilities, but we all have something that we are good at. These skills, abilities and strengths are what help us get through the day.

 

These strengths though, can also house weaknesses within them. That is, the strength itself can be a weakness.

 

Let’s take the strength of being compassionate. You are able to see the human side of things no matter how harsh or rough a situation gets. People love working with you because they know you care. Taking that strength too far can become a weakness. You may not be able to make the tough decisions because you tend to be too emotional and avoid hurting the feelings of others.

 

Now let’s go to the other extreme. You are tough and you can take on any situation and your emotions are rock solid. No matter how bad a situation gets, you remain the rock, the pillar of strength for the team. People respect you because when the smoke clears, they know you will be standing. Taking this strength too far can also be a weakness also. Being too strong can cause you to be unemotional and trample on people’s feelings as you do your thing.

 

Going up the middle, you could be very flexible and adaptable. Nothing can throw you off for long. No matter what happens you can change gears at any time and move to a different beat and follow a different pattern. Folks look to you because you are always in the know because you are a first adopter and often chosen for pilot projects. Taking this too far, someone who is overly flexible may be too wishy-washy and indecisive, changing decisions with the directions of the wind.

 

We must keep an eye on our strengths and appreciate and understand them, but also we need to know when they start going too far and start becoming weaknesses and tying us down.

 

You see, strengths can become weaknesses, and if you were to start the other way, you could turn a weakness into a strength. A person who is cold-hearted and unchanging could take this weakness and use it to lead a team through a tempest of a time, holding fast to the plan and goals of the team, through thick and thin. In one situation we had a major snafu we needed to fix, which required calling nearly 100 banks to ask for them to fix a problem we caused. We chose a person some felt too sweet to handle the rigors of the desk, and she wowed us by using this sweetness to get the banks to work with us. It was a great strength she had.

 

I guess whether something is a strength or a weakness, lies in the perspective you see it in, and how you apply it.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Message of the Day - Be A Hero With Discipline

Good Morning,

 

On Sunday my wife Karen handed me an article to read in the January 2009 issue of National Geographic. The article was about the Expedition of Fridtjof Nansen from Norway, who in the late 1800’s made several Arctic explorations. He was both an explorer and a scientist, being said to be just as skilled with microscope as with a ice ax and skis.

 

He gained fame from his traversing Greenland in 1888, where he missed his boat back to Norway and stayed with the Greenlanders for a spell. Nansen then planned a trip to reach the North Pole in 1893 with a well built boat, the Fram (meaning ‘Forward’). Incidentally this is the same boat used by Roald Amundsen in his historic trek to the South Pole. The goal was to have the boat locked in ice and float close to the Arctic where he and his team would go the rest of the way by sled, kayak and skis.

 

During Nansen’s expedition, his ship did not get near enough to the arctic so he set out with another man, Hjalmar Johansen, by sled with many dogs, some kayaks and skis. They trekked for months and got closer to the North Pole than anyone else in history at that time.

 

Here is the interesting part. Knowing that he was close, but knowing the status of his supplies, equipment and his promise to his wife to come back alive, he turned away from his goal and headed home. That trek home took over six months. After coming back Nansen and Johansen were treated like heroes. When the fervor for polar expeditions heightened even more, he again chose discretion over valor and went into other fields of study and passed the baton to the likes of Peary, Scott, Shackleton and Amundsen. He worked in the League of Nations, became Norway’s first Ambassador to the United Kingdom and went on to win a Nobel Peace Prize for his work after World War One for helping repatriate prisoners of war.

 

None his accomplishments in oceanography, meteorology and diplomacy would have happened if he did not show discipline and turn away from reaching the North Pole when he knew it would be best to stop. He would have certainly died in the Arctic, another lost explorer if he pressed on. That is a very powerful force of will and character.

 

Many people cannot, or worse, will not make those same decisions when they need to. They see the glory, the windfall from pushing onward against all good reason and safety and turn a blind eye to reason.

 

One of the reasons Karen shared this article with me was because while attempting to fix the bathroom sink pipes, I ran into a series of problems. Each problem I fixed brought out another issue. I looked over the situation and then said, ‘Honey, I think we need a plumber to help fix this’. I looked at the issue and realized that if I kept pushing forward, I would be possibly tear up the wall, the counter and who knows what else. Instead of trying to prove my manliness by fixing the pipes, I chose to admit it was beyond me and we had a plumber take care of it. She was proud that I was able to make that decision and chose discretion over pride (not to mention making a huge costlier mess in the bathroom).

 

I am no Fridtjof Nansen by any stretch of the imagination, but I was able to be like him because I stopped and re-thought my options and chose to stop. This is a great lesson for everyone. Knowing when to stop is a tough choice. Folks often push forward without thinking. Others try to cover their fear of being found out that they don’t actually know what they are doing. Whatever the reasons, knowing when to stop and choose another option is of vital importance in our lives.

 

I look forward to learning more about Fridtjof Nansen and his great discipline.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Message of the Day - Focused thought and visualizing goals.

Good Morning,

 

Welcome new recipients!!

 

I am taking a break from Marcus Aurelius and read “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D. Wattles (http://www.amazon.com/Science-Getting-Rich-Wallace-Wattles/dp/B001D95XKO). This is also a book mentioned in the 50 Classics Series, and while I did not immediately add it to my list of books to read, I kept seeing it sitting prominently on a shelf at Half-Priced Books. After the third time, I bought it.

 

This book, written in the early 1900’s is another forefather of ‘The Secret’. Like ‘The Magic of Believing’ and books on ‘The Law of Attraction’ this book covers how to focus our thoughts to visualize what we want and then welcome it into our world.

 

Wallace Wattles talks about formless ‘stuff’ which is shaped by thought. Our thoughts, when consistent and focused, forge what we want. Although he says it is not a simple as thinking of getting something and having it materialize in front of you. While that would be cool, it does not work, so far as I have tried. He does mention how these things do end up in our life through a series of events. Someone has an extra item and wants to give it away, and tells a friend, who remembers hearing that someone was looking for such an item and one thing leads to another and the item ends up on your doorstep.

 

Praying works the same way. We can get what we pray for, but not necessarily in the way that we think. Someone shared with me a story of a shipwrecked man on a deserted island. He prays to be rescued, and in the days that pass, he builds a shelter out of driftwood. He is starving and lonely and keeps praying. Then one day his hut catches on fire and burns to the ground. He feels forsaken and gets angry. The next day he is awaken by a boat coming to save him. He asks how they found him, and they tell him that they saw his smoke signal.

 

However we visualize, pray or ask for things in our lives, be positive and consistent. Some folks I speak with think they can visualize a million dollars and it will show up next Tuesday. It would be great if it did, but more likely that visualization will create a series of events, ideas, actions, opportunities which if we keep focused on our goal, can eventually come our way. Some folks liken this to serendipity. 

 

When we look at how successful people made it to success, it is often based on hard work and focused thought, consistently visualizing their goals and driving forward in the same direction.

 

Seems to me that they have successfully used these principles as well.

 

Something to think about.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Message of the Day: The Emperor's Life of Happiness

Good Morning,

 

Welcome New Recipients!!

 

My current read is The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius (recommended by the 50 Spiritual Classics series), translated by George Long. Book Three, section 12 of the Meditations had me thinking. Well, most of the book has me thinking, but this one jumped out at me.

 

“If thou workest at that which is before thee, following right reason seriously, vigorously, calmly, without allowing anything else to distract thee, but keeping they divine part pure, as if thou shouldest be bound to give it back immediately; if thou holdest to this, expecting nothing, fearing nothing, but satisfied with the present activity according to nature, and with heroic truth in every word and sound which thou utterst, thou wilt live happy. And there is no man who is able to prevent this.”

 

Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus is talking about putting our effort solidly, yet calmly into an endeavor that is before us. It does not have to be important or special, it could be any goal we want to achieve. He goes further to say that if we stay true to ourselves and pursue this goal with vigor and zeal, and do not fixate on our goal, but accept that doing our best is enough to satisfy, that when we achieve our goals, we will feel a sense of pleasure and enjoyment that no one can take from us.

 

That is a pretty powerful statement.

 

I have never thought about going after goals with such an honest passion or zeal like Marcus Aurelius writes about above. It is such a pure drive toward a goal, but not a drive filled with prideful ambition.

 

Some lofty goals are more like dreams and can often seem to be out of our reach, no matter what we do in life. We tend to turn from these dreams from time to time because they seem just too hard to achieve.

 

Yet, there may be a way.

 

If we could harness our energies to put our effort like this into what we do, vigorously yet calmly and without distraction or fear, we can reach those goals, no matter how lofty.

 

Even in such tough times as these, there are those who achieve the seemingly impossible. If this is their recipe for success, then it is here for all of us to use as well.

 

It is amazing how great wisdom stands for thousands of years and still carries so much, if not more, punch in our lives today.

 

When we really focus and re-read this teaching before looking at a goal, and ask ourselves if we follow Marcus Aurelius’ guidance, will we succeed?

 

I am sure we will say yes.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Message of the Day - Do We Complain or Improve?

Good Morning,

 

Welcome new recipients!!

 

Over the years I have heard complaints about how the drug companies tried to entice medical practitioners to prescribe their drugs through the liberal use of providing free promotional materials (pens, pads, calendars, etc.). People complained it was unfair and wanted it stopped.

 

A few weeks ago I heard a news story about how the drug companies are no longer going to provide free promotional materials to medical practitioners except for anything educational about their products. To my surprise, there were complaints made that these drug companies only did this to save money, seemingly ignoring that they were, in fact, stopping giving out freebies.

 

It is interesting that when people called for a change and got it, some found something else to complain about.

 

That seems to be a lot of energy spent in complaining and not very much energy on finding solutions.

 

If we focus our energy on solutions, what we would like to see happen, instead of finding fault (and in our world, there seems to be ample supply of fault to be found) we can enact improvements in our lives and in those around us.

 

While an incremental improvement may not be satisfying and of itself, repeated improvements are like building a house from bricks. One brick is not much of a house, but as the bricks get added, the house takes shape.

 

When we look at something that upsets us, can we look with an eye for how to make improvements instead of just complaints? There will be times that there is little to nothing that we can do to change a situation for a variety of reasons, but that does not mean that we should not try to find improvements. Let’s get that improvement mindset revved up and humming.

 

Taken another way, when we see the glass half full or half empty, do we look at the glass and see what is missing or do we look for the pitcher to fill it up the rest of the way?

 

 

Enjoy!

 

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

Monday, January 19, 2009

Message of the Day - Be Very Quiety, I am Stealth Learning.....

Good Morning,

 

Welcome New Recipients!!

 

Over the last few weeks I have been listening to ‘Primal Leadership’ by Daniel Goleman: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence (http://www.amazon.com/Primal-Leadership-Realizing-Emotional-Intelligence/dp/157851486X).

 

Listening to the book has re-emphasized the importance of learning to improve our Emotional Quotient or EQ. That is, learn to improve our Emotional Intelligence so that we can interact better with others in as many different situations as possible.

 

One section that jumped out at me was ‘Stealth Learning’. Sounds like sneaking into a bookstore and reading a book, but not buying it (which I am not a fan of. That is why we have libraries). Dr. Goleman tells us that Stealth Learning is a method of learning where as we are doing something else, we learn stuff. The goal is not to learn, but to do, and while we do, we learn.

 

Some folks take on new projects or dive into fields where they have little to no knowledge, for Stealth Learning. They learn many new skills and a lot of knowledge while at the same time working to achieve a goal.

 

Dr. Goleman goes on to say that Stealth Learning can often be better than direct learning (get training, take a class, etc.), because what we learn is both immediately applicable and hands on.

 

I remember while leading one unit, I learned so much about the unit that I could pass as proficient in it in a very short period of time, yet I never had any formal training in it. I learned bits and pieces along the way as I performed my role as a manager. For example, a problem arose, I reached out to my team for help and in resolving the issue, I then learned something new. My goal was resolving the problem, along the way, I learned about the solution, but in addition, I learned other things as well as the team offered suggestions and then commented back and forth on these. In the end, I even improved my management and leadership skills as I learned a lot about working in a stressful environment.

 

It is amazing what we can learn as we go through our days. When we take on new projects or enter new areas of our lives, we open the door to greater opportunities for Stealth Learning.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://www.berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!