Message of the Day - The Ultimate Gift

Good Morning,

 

I was reading “Influencer: The Power to Change Anything” this week and starting to get into it. Yesterday, one of the readers on this list, Ginger, asked me about a book “The Ultimate Gift” by Jim Stovall. During lunch I went to Borders and picked up the book, and told Ginger I would have it ready by Monday. So last night, I cracked it open and started to read to get a feel for the book. Two hours later, I sat there, having finished the book, with a sense of wow and wonderment.

 

The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story, but it gives us twelve powerful, yet simple, lessons on how to improve our lives. Each Gift adds into the next Gift, which leads into the 12^th and Ultimate Gift.

 

1. The Gift of Work: Putting in a hard days work, doing anything, is a great gift. You understand the power of your mind and your hands to craft items or make things happen. You appreciate it more when you can sit back at the end of the day and say, yes…I did that!

 

2. The Gift of Money: This is not having money so much as being able to help others with money. You may have a lot or a little, but giving some to others in their time of need has a lasting impact on both of you. And this gift is not just for money, but could probably work for any resources.

 

3. The Gift of Friends: Friends are the family we choose. Many people are surrounded by folks who call themselves friends, but when times get tough, that crowd often dwindles pretty quick and if you are lucky, you will have one or two true blue friends standing by you. How many people can say that about you?

 

4. The Gift of Learning: Learning helps you grow. Many people can go online and surf the web to learn, others go to libraries or bookstores, others learn by living. Some, sadly even with all the learning opportunities surrounding them, do not take them up. Others have huge obstacles to hurdle to learn, but they never give up.

 

5. The Gift of Problems: Problems are annoying, but they help us grow. When we overcome a problem, we are smarter, stronger and better. Just like stretch goals, they help make us more than we are. Face problems, and grow, don’t hide from them and whither.

 

6. The Gift of Family: They are there, and for some, that is too much, for others, not enough. Family is what you make of it. Embrace what you have and remember, friends can be the family you choose, so embrace them.

 

7. The Gift of Laughter: Life has a lot of issues, challenges and darkness in it. Learning to laugh at yourself and at life’s problems helps you survive the day and live a longer life. Remember, happy people live longer, it is scientific fact. Don’t brood over what upsets you, look for the lighter side, or find memories of fun times in the darkness, you may surprise yourself.

 

8. The Gift of Dreams: Have them, and keep updating them. The reason a lot of retirees die shortly after retiring was that their ultimate dream was to retire, not what they were going to do when they go there. Have something to live for and when you obtain it, get another dream or two.

 

9. The Gift of Gratitude: If you truly looked at the things in your life that you could give thanks for, you would find that list would grow quickly. Sadly we often take the simple things for granted. I am thankful for my health, my wife, my family, my friends, this list, the authors who write the books I read, the company that employees me, my coworkers, and most of all, God.

 

10. The Gift of a Day: If you had one last day to live, and it was coming next Tuesday, what would you do in that day. Think about it after reflecting on the earlier 9 Gifts and see what that day would hold for you. Most folks would pass on the trip to Mount Everest in lieu of a nice get together with loved ones and friends, sharing tales of love and happiness.

 

11. The Gift of Love: Love makes the world go round. Love is what makes everything worth living for. Focus on what you love and who you love, and embrace them more often.

 

12. The Ultimate Gift: Living life with all eleven prior Gifts together. Everyday, is another gift, a chance to share with those you love the gifts above.

 

Wow, what a powerful message. Thank you Ginger!!

 

I truly enjoyed the Ultimate Gift, I hope you will to!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

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Message of the Day - Are You Serious?

Good Morning,

 

I was chatting with some friends about some troubles an organization I am a part of was having. The prior administration of this group had talked about fixing the problem and this persisted for about eight months. A new administration had then come in and inherited the problem. Within a month and a half, they had not only got to the bottom of the problem, they had resolved it. What was the difference between the two administrations? Why did one take eight months and not come up with a solution, much less understand the full scope of the issue, and the other had it resolved and explained within a month and a half?

 

As it turns out the leader of the last administration had asked for advice and help on the issue from friends and coworkers, and they were slow in getting back to him and even then, they came with partial information. The leader of the new administration hired a professional firm to look into and resolve the issue. The cost was minimal and the issue explained and resolved in one fell swoop.

 

Why did the one leader not provide the results that the second did? He certainly tried.

 

It seems to me that the first leader did not take the issue seriously or approached resolving it seriously. He wanted to address the issue on his terms and not on those of the entity with which the problem existed. The second leader faced the issue, and used the appropriate vehicle to get the job done.

 

In the problems you are facing in life, if they are lingering, ask yourself, are you being serious about resolving them. Are you acting like the second leader who took care of the problem?

 

Think about it!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Message of the Day - The Rituals We Love

Good Morning,

 

Yesterday afternoon, I spent some time with my daughter, Samantha. We drove to the local mall to sell of bunch of my CD’s to a store to raise some funds for an upcoming trip to NYC for my other daughter, Stephanie’s sweet 16 present. During the trip, Samantha purchased yet another stuffed animal. Today’s craze is the ‘Webkins’ where you get the stuffed animal and get to play them online. What marketing genius!

Samantha now has enough stuffed animals to play the House of Representatives. “The floor recognizes the stuffed penguin…..”

 

On the way home, with her new acquisition (a cute stuffed elephant) in hand she starts our ritual for every stuffed animal she owns.

 

Sam asks “What should I name her?”

I say “How about wrinkles, because elephants have wrinkles?”

Sam replies “Not this one.”

I respond “How about trunkie?”

“No!”

“How about Dumbo?”

“She is a girl”

“Ok, Dumba!”

“No”

 

And it continues for a few minutes during the drive home while I grasp at straws.

 

“How about Africa or Asia because elephants come from there”

“No, do you know any African words?”

“I know Uhura, which is based on the Swahili word for Freedom”

“I like that one”

 

And the ritual comes to an end, until what time I have to spell Uhura for her.

 

These little rituals make life worth living. I know it can be tedious and annoying playing the name game here, but this special ritual is part of my relationship with my daughter and I would never give it up. Of course, until she outgrows stuffies.

 

What are the rituals in your life that you love?

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

 

Message of the Day - Dispute Yourself

Good Morning,

 

Continuing with the book “Authentic Happiness” by Martin Seligman, Ph.D. The author talks about defusing the negativity we face in life. That is to actively question and criticize our negative thoughts and feelings to remove the negativity. This ties into what I recently learned from Todd Arwood (Todd Arwood Performance Partners) where 77% of our thoughts are negative in nature.

 

Many of our negative thoughts and feelings are fleeting and really are not founded in any reality, yet we feel them and often get swept up into them and depress or anger ourselves.

 

Why not look at our feelings head on and ask: “why am I upset.”

 

I remember a time in Buffalo, NY when I was shopping in a supermarket and I passed by an upset lady. Suddenly I started feeling down and upset. I wanted to get out of the store and just go home, because the day was going to be horrible. So I stopped myself and asked, “Why am I upset?” I thought to myself that a few minutes ago, I was happy, so I asked myself “What changed?” So I thought about that and realized that nothing had changed. Then I remembered the very upset lady who looked sullen and depressed and then it hit me, I was empathizing with her. At that moment, the dark feelings lifted off and I felt better.

 

We may not be able to diffuse all negative feelings this way, but why not try. Use logic and facts to defeat negative feelings, and Dispute Yourself!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

Message of the Day - The Good and the Tired

Good Morning,

 

The last two nights I did not have the energy to stay up and read much. Normally at 9:25 PM I am tucking in my daughter Samantha after she watches an episode of Scooby-Do (a family ritual until the TV line up changes), and then I go off and read for an hour or so and then tip toe into bed (honest Karen, it is tip-toeing).

 

The last two nights after tucking in Samantha, I did not have enough energy to read and stay focused. I felt like I would fall asleep on my feet. So I went to bed at 9:30 PM both nights. I tried to get up early and do some of the reading I missed, but it has not been the same.

 

I am not upset though. The reason I have been so tired these last two nights is due to my donating blood for the second time in my life this past Tuesday. Donating a pint of blood takes a lot out you, and forces your body to redirect energy to recreate that missing blood. So my reading time for the last two nights has been donated to save the lives of others. Not a bad trade; makes me proud, really.

 

Isn’t it interesting that the good deeds we do for others can tire us out and yet leave us feeling fulfilled? A lot of times what is needed is not as easy to do as it may look. And only the truly committed (or those who should be….just kidding…or am I?) to doing the work to help others see it through to the end, and endure whatever consequences come from their actions. That is, you make sacrifices or give up what you want or need to do to help others.

 

It is a beneficial trade off. So when you are good, it is okay to be tired.  You earned it!

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

Message of the Day - Scientific Proof Being Positive is Better

Good Morning,

 

My current read is “Authentic Happiness” by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. This book was recommended by Kirk Weisler and covers movement of Psychology into a whole new arena, determining what is right with us and why we are happy. I really like the move away from what is wrong and our failings. This looks to be a great book.

 

Early on in the book, there is a description of some experiments to determine the impact on people and their ability and performance. In this case, there were three randomly created groups of internists who were to be handed a list of medical symptoms for a hard it diagnose case. One group was prepared with medical information. The second group was sent candy. The last group, the control group, was given nothing. After receiving the list of symptoms, the group who had the candy performed the best in determining the correct diagnosis of liver disease. The candy put them into a good mood and in that mood they were able to be positive.

 

This result has been replicated in other experiments, but we don’t really need them to know that when we feel good and positive, the world is our oyster and can take on anything. I remember back to the Tony Robbins seminar in NYC, and that feeling of being able to do anything. It would be then that I would love to be faced with my greatest challenges, not when I am down or upset.

 

Since we can choose how we act, it makes sense to positive. We will do better in life being positive. Another part early in the book talks about people who normally have ‘Duchenne’ smiles (you know the huge ear to ear grin forming wrinkles on the face they are smiling so hard), tend to live longer.

 

Seems to me if we want a longer happier life, then we should smile more and work to be more positive.

 

Science has proved it!  But, we can live it.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!

 

 

 

Message of the Day - The Blame Game

Good Morning,

 

Have you every heard of the blame game? It is a simple game to play, let me show you how it works. First, when something goes wrong, instead of taking responsibility for whatever went wrong, you simply blame someone or something else. Here are some examples:

 

• While walking along a path, I twist my ankle in a hole in the pavement. So, while in pain, I blame the pavement or the people who are supposed to maintain it for my woes instead of myself for not looking out better while walking.

 

• While dining out, a spill a glass of diet cola on the table and my shirt. Instead of blaming my own lack of attention or coordination, I yell at my daughter or a wait staff for distracting me.

 

• Here is another. I get an email and respond to it without really reading the contents and drop the ball on a project. Instead of blaming myself for not paying better attention, I blame my coworkers or boss for creating a hectic business environment.

 

With the blame game, you do not have to take responsibility for anything you do!  Isn’t that great!! 

 

Well, actually, no, its not. When you blame others for your failures, you create undo tension between you and these people. Those you blame begin to dislike and distrust you. Soon, you will find that folks will not want to deal with you because you are totally irresponsible and won’t face up to anything you do.

 

Personal responsibility is a very powerful tool. It makes us honest and worthy of respect.

 

Be responsible, and save the blame game for Hollywood and Soap Operas.

 

Enjoy!

 

Sanford Berenberg

Sanford@berenberg.net

http://sanfordberenberg.blogspot.com/  ß Check out the new Blog site

502-533-9336

 

PS: If you know others who may enjoy this message of the day, please pass this message on or invite them to receive them themselves by sending a request to me. If you wish to stop receiving these, please also let me know. Thank you!!!